Simple;like Vanilla

Dream

2009-03-02T00:08:00.002+08:00

Have you ever tried this before?

Scenario One

you were dreaming...

in your dream, you dreamt of him.

he was so close to you.

you felt so secured with him.

he again... did all the things you missed seeing.

it was so real that you thought you were in the dream.

the reality:

you are you.

he... is a superstar (some way or another).

but you are ONLY and SOLELY friends with him.

however, he was the sweetest thing that ever happened in your life.

what will you do?

ok.

the above plot was just my thoughts.

NOTHING MORE THAN THAT.

i mean, if that really happen in your life, what will you do?

according to korean and taiwan dramas,

i think he will become the hero in your life...

right?

anyway, i am planning my birthday party currently.

erm... do drop me venue recommendations.

i have a tight budget of course!

LOL.

sit-down-dinner or dinner buffets are fine.

looking at around 40 pax.

also looking for sponsors.

Vampires - REAL OR FAKE?

2009-02-19T19:58:00.001+08:00

i know i have been blogging very little

and yes, the new post sounds awkward.

but it has been something that i've been wondering for a long long time.

my first encounter with vampires took place when i was 5 years old.

i chanced upon a book that my brother had.

a book about vampires and werewolves.

it's one of the supernatural guide out on sale.

i was so fascinated with the vampires even though there were werewolves in the same book.

and my next encounter was watching buffy the vampire slayer.

yeah, i haven't miss any episodes then.

then i went on watching an interview with a vampire (by tom cruise and kristen dunst)

then.. i watched the famous hong kong serial, a date with a vampire.

after all these, somehow at the back of me,

i had a feeling that there are real vampires around.

especially after watching twilight and reading it's series..

i am once again super curious about vampires.

it's been a month since i last read finish the twilight series.

and not to mention paranormal tours do have a part in my curiosity.

once again, i believe vampires are real.

hence... i have launched a personal research into vampires.

and i chanced upon this national geographic clip:

Vampires: Is it real?

Enjoy...

to her...

2008-12-28T06:28:00.003+08:00

I don’t know how people view me as.

I don’t know how friends and acquaintances see me as.

I don’t know how much he understands me…

I haven’t being able to sleep for the past few days because my mind couldn’t stop running.

I thought about work.

I thought about life.

I thought about myself.

I thought about mummy.

And finally I thought about “regrets”.

Friends always say they are there to support me.

But how much do they know about me to support me?

their words of encouragement, their concern, i appreciate.

deep down my heart, i know the problem lies with me.

with myself, with my choices.

i know soon i will be lapsing into depression.

in fact, for the past 2 years

i was forcing myself to hold on, not to fall into depression.

but i am beginning to feel tired as life goes on.

i still can't find that pillar or wall that i can lean on.

they have me.

but i have no one...

i am lonely.

very lonely...

i have friends.

many friends.

i have him.

but it still seems empty.

none of it can fill the emptiness...

i have been thinking of the choices i made.

i have been putting up with criticisms over the months.

i know i have to be firm with the decisions i make.

which i always am.

but you know...

ice cold queen also do have feelings.

i want to further my studies like any other everyone.

is not that i can't, but i rejected the offers.

i want to work like any other everyone.

have fun in office, have nice colleagues.

is not that i can't, but i wanted to be ambitious.

is not that i am sick of my work.

no, i have loads of fun.

the problem lies with me.

and i don't know what's wrong with me.

i hate tolerating other's habit when they don't even show patience to me.

i hate giving all good when they don't even return a small favor to me.

i hate lending my shoulders to people when they don't even know i'm depressed.

i think i am going crazy...

i was thinking...

when... is our time to meet again?

how vilgilant are singaporeans?

2008-12-20T13:56:00.002+08:00

ever since the sept 11 issue back in 2001,

more and more people are aware of such danger, known as terrorism.

but how would singaporeans react when they encounter one?

the closest we got to terrorism in singapore

was having yishun mrt filmed as one of the terrorism target

and subsequently people receive letters with baby powder

being pass as a anthrax scare.

even recently, after the singaporean lawyer became a victim

in the mumbai terrorist attack,

how vilgilant can one be?

or how educated are we to realise that you will never know how close you are to terrorism attacks.

the goverment sure did their part in educating the civilians on national security

but do people be bothered with it?

today on my way home after lunch with cz,

we found this bag sitting alone at the bus stop.

we waited for quite awhile and no one claimed it.

hence, we called the police.

yup, people may think we are making a big deal out of an unwanted bag

or probably a lost item.

but, to be safe than sorry

we didn't want to take any chances.

who knows, later in the evening or a little while,

i might hear an explosion 3 blocks away from me

and i will carry this guilt with me for life!

but still, typical singaporeans don't think this way.

they just can't be bothered.

worst! there was this girl around 10 yrs old,

even sat next to the bag happily chatting away on her hp..

i was like wtf.

if that was a bomb...

she would have died long before she could say hello on her hp.

this shows how civic-minded singaporeans are...

randoms

2008-11-28T12:06:00.002+08:00

Wednesday:

hehe

so fun!

evening went to meet sparky and shany for dinner

yum yum.

MY FAVOURITE!!!

tian tian huo guo.

tom yum tom yum!

we ate so many this and that.

hehe.

and we ate up all the pincers!!!

bet the steamboat ppl probably really hate us.

and they even gave us one free jug of lemonade.

after steamboat, we went to eat desserts at tong shui.

the hk cafe that i went to celebrate my new year this year with zhao, eric, tiffy and cz.

so much fun.

then we went over to burlington square to take bus.

so fast the day ended.

thursday:

went to high achievers.

got the job.

yeah!

more money more money!!!

hehe.

i am going to train lifeskills!

hehe.

then i met sparky & max at liang court.

ate tampopo bento.

yum yum

max left first.

so after late lunch, we went to shop in mediya.

guess what?

we found meltykiss in mediya!!!

my fav!

sparky bought the dark rum.

i didn't buy any of it.

LOL

he bought my favourite dorayaki too.

hehe.

then i went to meet rayson for chit chat.

LOL

suppose to have dinner

but turned out neither of us want to eat.

happy happy

randoms

2008-11-26T12:57:00.002+08:00

sunday

heeren event.

attended with sprain hand.

and was damn pek chek with some ppl.

whom doesn't take any initiative!

in the end, i had to work with an sprained arm.

i wouldn't be surprise if i have to work when i'm pregnant too.

LOL.

probably the only good thing that day was:

nicky came down to visit.

was rather surprising to see him again.

after my show, we had dinner together

then we went to QB for a few drinks.

11 cups of martell with coke

and 1 bottle of japanese beer

finally went home.

talked quite alot with nicky

and i still think he hasn't changed.

even though he said he had.

good luck bro.

tuesday:

did a bit of work in the morning.

went out for a date around 2pm.

was rather awkward in the beginning.

although we have known each other for quite some time

but it was a bit weird to go dating.

LOL.

walked the new wing of northpoint

then went to watch movie.

beverly hills chihuahua.

nice.

then we met rayson for dinner.

LOL.

a note to follow so...

2008-11-24T11:08:00.002+08:00

sometimes, i really don't understand how people works.

i appreciate some initiative

when i take the initiative to contact you,

why couldn't you just give me an answer.

and i even had to ask for 3 days before i got one!

and by the time i got one, it was too late already.

how can you be trusted this way?

so what if i sprained my bloody hand.

i still could manage everything my own.

for the next two years,

i will be facing my next most difficult time of my life.

for the route i chose,

it came with a huge responsibility

which i may say probably no one else can understand it.

and because this two years are very important for me,

i can't let anyone hinder me or to be controlled.

the more the people don't expect from me,

the more i have to show them.

definately, realizing dream isn't easy.

for each dream comes with its own pressure.

and my pressure doesn't only come from work

but from my own expectations and my family too.

i have never gotten support from my family at all.

i was alone and i am still alone.

of course, for the next two years,

it will be good if there was someone to be there with me.

at least i know, when i meet with failure, when i meet with difficulties

there's always this someone whom

i can lay on his shoulders, wipe away my tears, hug me and giving me comfort, pet my head and say "serene, don't worry. there's always a solution to everything, things will be fine again. let's solve it together."

but it was never meant to be...

because if he were an additional pressure,

i can't accept it.

i am so filled up with things

i have no room to think and worry of anything else.

i don't have the energy.

it's not a nice game to play.

i don't want to waste time thinking of things

that are unreasonable and illogical.

i would rather choose to walk away then.

because if there isn't comfort,

i can still cry underneath my blanket.

i can still get comfort from my soft toys.

i can't afford another burden.

i am not a puppet.

i don't want to be a puppet.

since from the day i was borned

i didn't have the choice to choose the kind of route i want to take

the kind of things i want to do

the kind of life i want to lead

the kind of things i want to learn

and finally, this is my breakthrough

i don't want to go back to being a puppet.

if you can't, it's better off releasing me.

thoughts and words

2008-11-20T18:27:00.002+08:00

Rainbow

By Elisa

You are not an enemy anymore

There’s a ray of light upon your face now

I can look into your eyes

And I never thought it could be so simple

You can hear the music with no sounds

You can heal my heart without me knowing

I can cry in front of you

Cause you’re not afraid to face my weakness

When we’ll wake up

Some morning rain

Will wash away our pain

Cause it never began for us

It’ll never end for us

Cause it never began for us

It’ll never end for us

You are not my enemy anymore

There’s a ray of light upon your face now

It will be all new again

There is something else

Just ‘round the corner

So when we’ll wake up

Some morning rain

Will wash away our pain

When we’ll wake up

Some morning rain

Will wash away our pain

Cause it never began for us

It’ll never end for us

I was looking for a place to stay

Are you looking for a place to stay

No it never began for us

It’ll never end for us

Cause it never began for us

It’ll never end for us

Cause it never began for us

It’ll never end for us

Cause it never began for us

It’ll never end for us

and i finally watched "the leap years" today.

it took me almost forever to watch it.

and to search for it.

it was a pity i watched it alone.

and it was a pity, the promise never took place.

and probably will never.

as december slowly approaches

my depression slips in too.

i've always hate december.

and this year, there's another reason why i will hate december even more.

december will be when, it is going to eat up 3 of my good friends.

cz, paulie and sparky.

my hatred with december started in 2005.

with my very first encounter with someone special.

everything was good except for timing.

hence, it did not last.

and i moved on ahead with my toughest time in my life.

and then she left.

leaving us all in confused.

everything i did in 2006, i wasn't in a conscious state.

but it eventually happened...

december 2006.

to be specific, 31st dec 2006.

was what i call a miracle in my life.

or rather, the once and probably my only time being cinderella.

the only difference between me and cinderella was:

cinderella had a happily ever after ending with her prince

but i didn't.

afterall, it was only a dream come true just for one day.

and my hatred with december begin to sips in.

but not too much.

yet...

december 2007...

27th december 07

was another day i will never forget.

the day that landed me in hospital.

and probably only one knew the reason why.

i have never cried my heart out like that day.

and because of that, it makes it hard for me to forget.

ever.

that how foolish and stupid was i.

that i felt like jumping down immediately.

this year...

how will december be like for me?

i can never imagine.

will this year's december erase

whatever i had and felt in the last decembers?

带我走

2008-11-05T10:39:00.003+08:00

带我走

By 杨丞琳

每次我总一个人走

交叉路口

自己生活

这次你却说带我走

某个角落

就你和我

像土壤抓紧花的迷惑

像天空缠绵雨的汹涌

在你的身后

计算的步伐每个背影每个场景

都有发过的梦

带我走

到遥远的以后

带走我

一个人自转的寂寞

带我走

就算我的爱你的自由都将成为泡沫

我不怕

带我走

每次我总独自远走

保持缄默

不皱眉头

这次你却说一起走

彼此温柔

从此以后

像土壤抓紧花的迷惑

像天空缠绵雨的汹涌

在你的身后

计算的步伐每个背影每个场景

都有发过的梦

带我走

到遥远的以后

带走我

一个人自转的寂寞

带我走

就算我的爱你的自由都将成为泡沫

我不怕

带我走

白马溜过漆黑尽头

潮汐袭来浪花颤动

凝在海岸结成了墨

蔷薇朝向草原气球

邮差传来一地彩虹

刻在心中拍打着脉搏

带我走

到遥远的以后

带走我

一个人自转的寂寞

带我走

就算我的爱你的自由都将成为泡沫

我不怕

带我走

带我走就

算我的爱你的自由都将成为泡沫

带我走

------------------------------------------------------

无论以后的路有多遥远

多困难

你都会一直带着我走

对吗?

Do you dare to drink DHMO?

2008-10-17T14:55:00.002+08:00

DHMO.org

you must be thinking why am i so bo liao to go research on DHMO.

lol.

i didn't.

i was facilitating in a training program with SCGS where we came across this site.

and i thought it's stupid.

LOL.

and funny.

especially fellow science students, you will love to amuse yourself with this site.

"The controversy surrounding dihydrogen monoxide has never been more widely debated, and the goal of this site is to provide an unbiased data clearinghouse and a forum for public discussion."

unbiased... LOL.

we shall see.

before i go on further, let me introduce to you what is dihydrogen monoxide.

it is also commonly known as H2O aka water.

chemistry students, should know why.

Enviromental Impact of DHMO

DHMO contributes to global warming and the "Greenhouse Effect", and is one of the so-called "greenhouse gasses."

dots. water vapour is definitely a greenhouse gas.

DHMO is an "enabling component" of acid rain -- in the absence of sufficient quantities of DHMO, acid rain is not a problem.

of course... without H2O where will there be rain?

DHMO is a causative agent in most instances of soil erosion -- sufficiently high levels of DHMO exacerbate the negative effects of soil erosion.

if it wasn't for rain that causes the soil to loosen, where will there be soil erosion?

DHMO is present in high levels nearly every creek, stream, pond, river, lake and reservoir in the U.S. and around the world.

come on... it's water. water are found in those places!!!

Measurable levels of DHMO have been verified in ice samples taken from both the Arctic and Antarctic ice caps.

water freeze = ice. definitely Arctic and Antarctic ice caps have H2O

Recent massive DHMO exposures have lead to the loss of life and destruction of property in California, the Mid-West, the Philippines, and a number of islands in the Caribbean, to name just a few.

with mother nature's flood, tsunami do you think life will be sarcrifice. fei hua!

Research has shown that significant levels of DHMO were found in the devastating Indian Ocean tsunami in 2004 which killed 230,000 in Indonesia, Thailand, Malaysia and elsewhere, making it the deadliest tsunami in recorded history.

no water, where will have tsunami?

and then after nonsense accusation,

they called for the

BAN:

http://www.netreach.net/~rjones/no_dhmo.html

LOL

while they are still debating,

i am now enjoying my cup of DHMO.

i'm not weird... it's just me

2008-10-08T15:34:00.002+08:00

after knowing him for 10 years...

finally my buddy went to army yst.

take care my friend.

you know... have you ever felt like this before?

misunderstood.

would you try to accept someone for whom they are

would you try to change someone to whom you like?

have you ever felt like this before?

some, tried to understand you.

but no matter how hard they try, they still won't understand you.

whereas some, you don't even have to speak,

they can understand you very well.

not because we are similiar in many ways.

we were all along different.

we don't think similiarly

but we can empathize each other.

like what i always said,

i don't need plenty of love.

i only need appreciation and understanding.

you don't have to understand me much,

but appreciate me for whom i am.

not someone whom you want me to be.

because i can tell you

for, i won't be and never will be the one you wish for me to be.

probably i'm seen as selfish.

but this is my only chance to be selfish.

it is my only chance to prove to people my existence in this world.

it is my only chance to show everyone my mum's decision wasn't wrong.

they say life is full of choices

but life isn't

i didn't choose to be where i am now.

i was forced into situations i shouldn't be in.

and now, finally i can have a chance to lead my life the way i want

nothing can stop me from reaching what i want.

a little too ambitious?

no, i'm not.

i'm just leading my life the way i want it.

not the way how destiny wants it.

not the way how anyone wants it.

and because she knew i was caged

she had hoped i could lead it the way i want.

and not how they wanted.

now that she is gone,

this is my freedom.

and i'm always thankful...

to have you.

fairness? not in this world

2008-09-11T17:28:00.002+08:00

how would you feel when someone insults you and you feel unfair?

how would you feel when someone judges you unfairly?

don't know...

please view:

Dadagiri Slap

i got insulted today.

though i took it like a pinch of salt

and bear no grudges,

i still felt hurt by the unfairness.

is it my face or is it my life is meant to be this way?

since young i have to endure harsh criticism from everywhere.

probably it's because of my background.

now i understand why my mum says

somethings even if you know, it should be left untouched or unsaid.

don't take certain comments to heart.

my mum was an iron woman.

i'm not one yet,

but i'm on my route to being one.

having no feelings is better than having feelings.

at least you won't get hurt.

like an ugly situation this morning,

at least you can take comments like a pinch of salt.

thanks mum.

i love you mum.

thanks tiffy. =)

what ifs...

2008-09-09T14:16:00.002+08:00

What if

by simple plan

What if I lead the way

What if I make mistakes (will you be there?)

What if I change the world

What if I take the blame (will you be there?)

I remember going back to the place we used to lay

But I keep losing track

And now the days they all turn black

And our dreams all start to fade

But there's no turning back

Cause the world keeps turning

And my heart's still burning

[Refrain]

What if I change the world

If I lead the way

What if I be the one who takes the blame

What if I can't go on without you

What if I graduate

What if I don't

Now I'm slowly, giving up

As the world keeps losing faith

And you still turn your back

Now the path I follow takes a tool on me, on you

But there's no turning back

Cause the world keeps turning

And my heart's still burning

[Refrain]

I'll be waiting here

For you to call me

Oh..

What if I lead the way

What if I graduate

What if I change the world

Would you still remember me?

What if I lead the way

What if I graduate

What if I change the world

And I found the words to tell you what you mean to me

I'll be waiting here

For you to call me

I'll be waiting here

have you ever thought of the various what ifs in your life?

in our life, it's all about choices.

and sometimes there are some things you wished you have done

and some you have wished you have not done.

and somehow... these what ifs seems so insignificant in our life

can eventually change one's life...

what if i wasn't in rp...

what if i didn't meet choon hou in rp...

what if 2006 does not exist at all...

i think that would have changed my life greatly.

i wouldn't be here now.

in this situation.

and yes, probably i wouldn't be meeting the ppl i am meeting now.

what ifs...

no matter how much you wish upon what ifs,

life have already moved on.

there's no more turning back...

unless...

you are waiting for someone.

if it was me in the past...

probably i would.

even if it's forever.

but i soon realise...

LOVE is only a feeling created by humans

and it can actually be suppressed and be replaced

by other love.

and LOVE is a word said too simply and felt too many a times

than having to understand and trust someone.

Randoms

2008-09-08T13:25:00.002+08:00

Just want you to know

By Backstreet Boys

Lookin' at your picture from when we first met

You gave me a smile that I could never forget

And nothing I could do

Could protect me from you that night

Wrapped around your finger, always on my mind

The days would blend 'cause we stayed up all night

Yeah, you and I were, everything, everything to me

Chorus:

I just want you to know

That I've been fighting to let you go

Some days I make it through

And then there's nights that never end

I wish that I could believe

That there's a day you'll come back to me

But still I have to say

I would do it all again

Just want you to know

All the doors are closing, I'm trying to move ahead

And deep inside I wish it's me instead

My dreams are empty from the day,

The day you slipped away

Chorus:

And I just want you to know

That I've been fighting to let you go (oh)

Some days I make it through

And then there's nights that never end

I wish that I could believe

That theres a day you'll come back to me

But still I have to say (yeah)

I would do it all again

Just want you to know

Bridge:

That since I lost you

I lost myself (ohhh)

No I can't fake it

There's no one else

Chorus:

So I just want you to know

That I've been fighting to let you go

Some days I make it through

And then there's nights that never end

I wish that I could believe

That there's a day you'll come back to me (back to me)

But still I have to say (I have to say)

I would do it all again (do it all again)

I just want you to know (cuz I've been fighting)

That I've been fighting to let you go (ohh)

Some days I make it through (and then there's)

And then there's nights that never end

I wish that I could believe (yeah)

That there's a day you'll come back to me (but still)

But still I have to say (I have to say)

I would do it all again

Just want you to know

a song that i've always liked.

a song from the past.

a song that used to express alot.

a song that brings back past.

past is something that has been

yet it seems so near.

and seems to have passed so fast.

have been busy these few weeks.

sorry for the lack of updates.

yesterday night, met jona for dinner.

after that, went to have a long walk and talk.

how time flies.

we have known each other for 10 years and still counting on.

and it's pretty surprising how he still can remember little details of things that i expect he will forget.

LOL.

now i know why he is my buddy afterall.

till then, take care my buddy.

i think i should die soon

2008-08-29T11:33:00.003+08:00

ever since mummy left,
the more i feel this way.
=(
don't know why.

have you ever felt before...
you are so bloody helpless.
alot of time, with money you can do anything, everything.
it's not that i don't have money.
but they are all debits.
what can i do?
they make me a poor rich little girl.
my money yet i can't take and use.
wtf.

and worst still,
you keep awaking with problems.
and you start worrying almost as soon as you close your eyes to sleep.
and then you wake up to find yourself alone.
alone with all these freaking issues that are pasted on your face.
i don't understand how people sleep through it.
i can't.
i worry till it's solved.
then i can sleep.
....

Past . Present . Future

2008-08-26T22:39:00.004+08:00

there are some circumstances where people find themselves
torn in between their past and whom they want to be (future).
have you felt like this before?

was talking to a friend this afternoon
and this feeling suddenly came across to me.
i didn't realise how long it had been that we last met each other.

probably when i was back in school
i was usually preoccupied with something else.
school, grades, work, family, friends.
there was always something for me to do all day.
not that because i had alot of time but it was a must do routine for me.

and i didn't realise deep inside me,
there was this tiny desire to do certain things.
and because events became my full time
i had too little for everything.
and the huge sense of responsibility and amount of pressure
can be insanely crazy.
time to time, you will think
why the fuck are you torturing yourself like this.
yup. because of that one incident.
and it's getting harder to let go.
though the challenges ahead is still a blank.

and i guess it's true.
the more you drag it, the more it is harder to let go.
and it takes a longer time to convince yourself to forget everything.

back to topic.
so yup, chatted with this friend.
though life used to be really hectic
but still we always manage to go for dinner together.
but due to work commitments, we met lesser and lesser
and eventually it's almost a year now...

i realised there are things about me that have not changed.
my thoughts on relationship.
for every little girl out there who yearns for that little puppy love
would probably think i am crazy.
for me, i think they are immature.
ever since young, i developed this mentality of:
i was born into this world alone, i will walk this journey alone and i can die alone. anyone whom comes along will be a bonus.
probably it was because the way my mum taught me,
i am fiercely independent.
or rather, i can be fiercely independent.
to people, i am crazy.
but surprisingly, there is still someone whom thinks like me too.

what i feel is that a relationship should never be a burden.
if it is one, why should we even go into one
and let it hinder our life.
afterall, with or without it, we can still survive.
isn't it?
it's only the emotions that one holds on to.

i enjoy the freedom i had.
the freedom to pursue my passion, to fulfill my dreams, to commit in my work
without doubts, without control, without being asked too much.
i don't feel what i ask for is too much.
i feel it is the most basic most are looking for.
if you can't accept it...
too bad.
you can have your doubts, your control.
i will still pursue my passion, fulfill my dreams and commit in my work.
i don't have a mother now and i don't need another "mother".
with the immerse pressure, stress and focus on my work,
i can do with or without this burden.

don't let me prove that i'm right.

randoms

2008-08-18T00:12:00.002+08:00

seriously, sometimes i have ain't any idea what is he thinking of.
i guess he is just someone far too sensitive
and too emotional?
what is all this about?
somehow i feel there is this sense of jealously or loneliness from him
that he feels "attached" to me?
sometimes i really don't understand why he flares up so easily
and argues with me on small matters.
seriously, i see it as a misunderstanding.
i don't feel fair that i deserve such words.
because i don't see what problem did i cause.
probably you are really taking everything too hard.
what's wrong with me going home with my bf?
i didn't ask him to come down
and it was really a coincidence he was in vivo.
what's wrong with you joining us?
if you can't accept yourself joining us then don't say i made you come.
and how would i know you would have come to sentosa.
cause i wasn't expecting it when you asked me handled things my own.
afterall i am there to work
i have my own responsibility there i can't possibly be there entertaining you.

probably your emotions have crossed the line...
know clearly what is a partnership

randoms

2008-08-12T12:11:00.002+08:00

the words to hide our awkwardness

the moments we gazed at each other

the time we spent together

i wish they all lasted together

you hand held mine until

you saw me off on the last train

you nonchalant kindness makes me happy

if ths were a fairytale

i would certainly be willing to go with you

everytime, everyday. everything

even if i don't put it into words

you are always special

if i could be granted just one wish

dear god please stop time when we are alone together

everytime, everyday, everything

even if we were to go our seperate ways

i'll hold us together

you are my special one

everytime, everyday, everything

i have faith even if time doesn't stops

if we are fated then we would be able to see each other anytime... right?

nice japanese song

randoms

2008-08-07T12:17:00.004+08:00

wo!! super lack of updates.

hehe.

busy busy nowadays.

so many to do.

and my laptop is staying with cz.

so yup.

using desktop now.

last sunday did an event for HCI.

Inspire run in NUS.

So below are some photos...

Chris and I
Agnes from Campus Superstar II
Zi Jie from Campus Superstar II (cute eyecandy)
LEVIN!!!! (from Singapore Idol 1)

wahahahha. i can't believe i get to see him.

the cute cz actin cute.

some photos from the camp i went:
ai ke, me and darling. super shag after a day of fun with the children
jovan and me (my cute little son)
jovan again
darling and her daughter
that's my son too, chee wee with zhi jie looking on
(he promised to buy me a pink PSP. me still waiting for it arhz)

chee wee with my rabbit drawing (which i gave to dearie). LOL
darling and little ernest (ai ke is also ernest. so we had fun calling the ernests)
xiao huang and ai ke. (they are one big happy family)
ernest climbing on to ernest

confessions of a broken heart

2008-07-29T16:14:00.002+08:00

*NOTE: whatever i am stating here now, it's my personal comments and personal feelings.

i don't need to be understood if you don't understand...*

Confessions of a broken heart

By Lindsay Lohan

I wait for the postman to bring me a letter.

And I wait for the good Lord to make me feel better.

And I carry the weight of the world on my shoulders.

Family in crisis that only grows older.

Why'd you have to go?

Daughter to father, daughter to father!

I am broken, but I am hoping.

Daughter to father, daughter to father!

I am crying, a part of me's dying.

And these are, these are,

the confessions of a broken heart!

And I wear all your old clothes you polo sweater.

I dream of another you, one who would never.

Never, leave me alone to pick up the pieces.

Daddy to hold me, that's what I needed.

So,why'd you have to go?

Why'd you have to go?

Daughter to father, daughter to father!

I don't know you, but I still want to.

Daughter to father, daughter to father!

Tell me the truth, did you ever love me?

Cause these are, these are,the confessions....!!!

of a broken heart!Of a broken heart!

I love you.

I ... I ... I ...I love you!

Daughter to father, daughter to father!

I don't know you, but I still want to.

Daughter to father, daughter to father!

Tell me the truth, did you ever love me?

Did you ever love me?

These are the confessions of a broken heart!

Ohh ... yeah

And I wait for the postman to bring me a letter.

to me, this is a dark song.

and a personal favourite.

because in many ways, i can relate myself to it.

to lyrics i mean.

not talking about the father part.

but yeah... the basic outline of it.

why did i suddenly dig this song out?

because i realised i have been asked about my past recently.

quite often.

and yes, it's true i don't speak much.

i speak only when i feel like to.

and when i speak, i meant it to be shared.

not to be commented on.

i realised i have been misunderstood quite often.

not particularly currently but when i was younger.

i know some, find my character very fake.

i don't disagree with this fact.

i'm not someone whom shows much expression on my face.

whether i like it or not, everything is kept to myself.

to people, they think that sometimes being straightforward to everyone is the best.

to me, i feel that it is my privacy.

it is not neccessary for me to comment on some things or to speak my mind out.

i think it's because of the environment i grow up in.

what i viewed of my own life is "at least i manage to survive it, so it doesn't matter to me much how harsh some people think of it."

firstly, let me put it straight across.

it is never a sympathy session.

i've mentioned. if you ask, i will say.

but i don't need sympathy.

because i think, i may be leading a better life than you do now (not out of arrogance)

but because it was what happened that carves the current me.

i know perfectly what i want, who i am now.

and hence, i don't need people to change my current principles when there isn't a need.

i am simple.

i don't need people to tell me "you should open up on this and that". (other than work-related)

when i say no, i mean no.

i don't need to state a reason to it.

but that doesn't mean i don't have a reason to it.

i just hate saying it.

and i hate being reminded of the past.

as said, it is the PAST.

it doesn't have to be mentioned again.

or be constantly repeated to me.

i know my past very well.

much better than you,

so thank you.

i don't need your reminder.

and so yup.

i don't think i am anyhow fake.

just because i don't talk about myself.

i don't need a biography to be published on me.

and i think some things if i want it to be kept private,

please RESPECT my decision.

thank you.

randoms

2008-07-29T14:19:00.002+08:00

wa...

this blog is rotting soon.

pai sey people.

super busy with work.

and stuff.

still haven't download the photo from ai ke.

so no uploads.

blah.

guess wat?

hehe.

an eye candy back in poly days IMed me.

wahahahahha.

surprise surprise

meow.

randoms

2008-07-21T18:14:00.002+08:00

loads of happenings this week.

sorry for the super lack of updates.

LOL.

busy with work and fun!

thursday:

worked from home a bit.

went down to office around 3pm.

met jason tan.

he is enlisted for army coming this week.

so must spend good time with friends.

happens that he takes final theory at the driving centre oppo my office.

so met him there.

had lunch together.

super loads of catching up.

phew! i miss the people loads.

so anyway, after meeting him, rot a bit in the office with cz.

then dearie called.

as mentioned in previous post, he was sick.

yeah.

so bo bian, followed him for tour so that can look after him and help out too.

and guessed where we went to...

SAF YATCH CLUB!

DARLING'S WORKPLACE!!!

-ding ding-

oh my gosh.

how much coincidence can there be.

but too bad didn't get to see her.

so anyway, that day's tour group was the peeps from navy.

3 bus load of people.

many many guys.

yeah!

eye-candy session.

so during the trip, got to know quite a number of them too.

hahahah.

they are super noisy somemore.

some times during the tour, can suddenly hear my name.

= =

pretty irritating.

but ok lah.

don't take it to heart, treat the comments lightly, it can be pretty fun.

LOL.

and this is my 1st time helping out in their tours

even though i co-organised before a few with them.

different experience.

and had much fun.

most importantly, i was able to look after him and helped them out.

hehe.

got home around 2+am.

super shag.

especially next day have camp.

friday:

woke up at 10.30am.

packed my bag.

then left house.

took bus to tampines then to aloha changi.

realised that i reached earlier than all of them

even though i am suppose to be late.

waited for an hour plus.

lucky he called me and pei me talk.

LOL.

otherwise i think i would have been roasted on that hot day.

finally the children arrived.

and i see.... AI KE!!!

ahhhhhhhh.

so long no see him since 30 dec 2006.

phew.

19 children can be quite a bundle.

did loads of things.

ai ke and i are the team leaders.

so in total, there are 21 children.

yeah, including ai ke and me (we are big children!!!)

so so so

we played puzzles, soccer, dance game, coloring and many more.

dinner was noodles.

brought them out for night walk too.

darling came over to join us around 8+pm.

just nice for night walk.

hehe.

the kids disturbed the people fishing somemore.

LOL.

after the night walk, supper time.

kids ate sausage.

then the kids bathed and sleep.

phew.

tiring day.

ai ke and darling started playing some guess music thingy

while me on the phone.

zzz.

went to sleep around 2am after that yu le bai fen bai

with darling winning the competition.

LOL

soon after around 4am, was waken up by one of the boys.

haiz.

so ma fan.

in the end, we didn't get to sleep much after that.

i even managed to give dearie morning call some more at 5am!

saturday:

"woke up" around 8am.

got the kids to change and brush teeth and pack their bags.

then went to wash up.

had breakfast.

then went for morning walk.

me have a cute little son, chee wee.

he promised to buy me a pink PSP.

yeah!

then came back, played more games, have lunch and more games.

finally the kids went off around 12pm.

yeah.

had the whole chalet to ourselves till sun.

thanks ai ke, kelly and mrs chua.

had loads of fun.

so, me invited some friends over.

strictly private and sudden too.

LOL.

then went home to bathe and collect some things.

met darling at 5.30pm took bus back to tampines.

did shopping at ntuc.

met dearie, sparky and shany.

then we over to aloha changi.

tiffy reached.

then we started cooking.

cz reached.

finally finish cooking, set table,

yahui and huiling reached.

huiling still bluffed me say she not coming!!!

WAHAHAHAHAHA.

finally managed to get sparky see huiling.

muhahahahhaa.

evil us.

yahui didn't stay over.

and poor him still sick since wed.

so didn't have dinner.

after dinner we started rotting in the chalet.

then sparky brought out all the booze

and we started playing big 2.

muhahahahah.

me not so good in big 2.

drank a few cups.

it's all good.

not as hiong as i played with jona and jl.

recieved first bday greeting from ai ke.

(yeah, he sat beside me at 12am and he didn't even wish me!!!!)

(LOL. ok. i was kidding on this part.)

then followed by angie, devi, hanisah, lynn

after the big 2 game which left sparky a bit tipsy,

we went out for a night walk.

night breeze is good to keep someone awake.

went back around 2am?

huiling, darling and cz have not slept yet.

then watch a bit of tv, went to bathe.

slept around 4am.

yawns.

TIRED!!!

sunday:

woke up at 8.30am.

then sparky went over to the girls room to disturb them with eerie music.

LOL.

cz was already awake playing dota.

so we had breakfast, slacked around till check out.

hahaha.

walked out to changi village for more breakfast.

after that all of us took bus back home.

went back home, put down things.

then went for lunch with dearie.

yeah.

i am a pig. eat alot.

major slacking until 5.30pm.

went home.

waited for papa to come home.

brought me out for dinner.

dinner was at botak jones in toa payoh.

yum yum.

papa and gor gor had fish and chips.

me had cajun chicken.

then i ate 3 chicken wings somemore.

gor gor had cajun sausage.

then we shared one plate pineapple rice.

yeah.

alot alot of things.

then went home cut cake.

i had 3 cakes!

one mango cake from him.

one chocolate rum cake from tiffy.

one chocolate cake from papa.

wa.

so many.

yum yum.

so in the end we cut tiffy's cake.

snoopy ate too!

super loads of thanks whom remembered my bday and sent me a greeting.

firstly, thanks to those whom came down last minute for the chalet.

dearie whom was sick but still came down.

darling whom helped up with the kids and the chores and your cooked mee sua.

tiffy for her lovely baked chocolate cake.

cz for his pre-celebration and coming down.

huiling whom complained heavy bags but still came down to surprise me (and sparky)

yahui whom came down all the way from home.

sparky and shany whom came down with loads of things and booze!

ai ke for his present and the chalet.

angie and marilyn for the lovely messages. =) rmbr our 21 yrs old date!!!

eugene for the surprise.

jeeyon for his bday message.

eric (huang) for remembering.

zhao's message came later then i expected but you still remembered. =)

eric for his belated msg

rayson for his belated msg

jason tan's almost forget message but still came in time.

if i forgot anyone, i'm really sorry.

i have very blur nowadays.

but still... thank you everyone.

last but not least...

YOU STUPID DURIAN HEAD BUDDY!!! YOU FORGOT MY BIRTHDAY!!!
I DON"T WANT TO SEE YOU ANYMORE!
-HUR-!

lol.

emo emo

2008-07-16T23:57:00.002+08:00

haiz.
i don't know what is wrong with me recently.
i just feel emotionally drained.
not because of relationship problem or what.
i also don't know what is happening to me.
probably i am trapped in the state of trying to discover myself again.

was feeling pretty down today.
and i get easily irritated by small things.
wanted to find people to talk to but haiz...
my uncle agony is in his nus camp.
my dearie is sick at home.
=(
so moody.
so sian.

i want to dedicate this song to someone...

心不了情
By 萬芳

心若倦了　淚也乾了　這份深情　難捨難了
曾經擁有　天荒地老　已不見你　暮暮與朝朝

這一份情　永遠難了　願來生還能　再度擁抱
愛一個人　如何廝守到老　怎樣面對一切　我不知道

＊回憶過去　痛苦的相思忘不了　為何你還來　撥動我心跳
　愛你怎麼能了　今夜的你應該明瞭　緣難了　情難了

yeah.

i realized some scars, once it's left there...
it can never be erased away forever.
hmmm... yes, it's true.
probably we are in different scenarios
hence i can never understand why that was hurtful.
but still i was and am truly sorry.

everytime this year...
it is my most dreadful moment.
i hate my birthday.
don't ask me why, but i don't like to celebrate my birthday.
some how i find that birthdays are very fake...
just a feeling...
=(
but ever since i know someone, he has always made birthday a surprise.
hahaha.
and it is always a love-hate relationship with him.
at times he is really a very nice friend.
thanks bro...
alot.

and i found a dark secret about someone.
again... it revolves around this word...
S.E.X
haiz.
utterly disappointed again.
man...
really...
in this word, aren't any decent guys out there???
blah.
emo emo emo.

randoms

2008-07-16T15:05:00.002+08:00

after a long wait people...
let me introduce to you...
my current crush...

JANG GEUN SEOK!!!!

extreme cutie.
anyway, just finish watching Do Re Mi Fa So La Ti Do
i think it is a nice korean movie.
hehe.

randoms

2008-07-15T01:24:00.003+08:00

龍捲風
By Jay Chou


愛像一陣風　吹完它就走　這樣的節奏　誰都無可奈何
沒有妳以後　我靈魂失控　黑雲在降落　我被它拖著走


靜靜悄悄默默離開陷入了危險邊緣 Baby~
我的世界已狂風暴雨
Wu~


愛情來的太快就像龍捲風　離不開暴風圈　來不及逃
我不能再想　我不能再想我不　我不　我不能


愛情走的太快


就像龍捲風　不能承受　我已無處可躲
我不要再想　我不要再想我不　我不　我不要再想你


不知不覺　你已經離開我　不知不覺　我跟了這節奏
後知後覺　又過了一個秋　後知後覺　我該好好生活
















lol. this is a song back from sec sch days.
specially dedicated to two people.
my gf angie and bestie cz.
hahaha.
don't you think this song brings back loads of memories?


monday:


spent my day at home packing up my room.
loads to throw.
loads to pack.
i am only like 1/4 done in my room.
but i sure did throw alot of things.
hehe.
rest... is major rotting.

randoms

2008-07-13T14:29:00.002+08:00

saturday:
yst night saw angie at bus int.
suddenly i realised how much i miss her...
and i missed alot of friends too.
=)

afternoon down to shaw to find jian rui.
surprisingly today he is alone.
so we talked abt the event and a bit on life.

after meeting jr, went to take 111.
brings back super loads of memories.
haiz.
i miss tanglin campus alot alot.
cause there is sort of my emotional playground.
my sweat, my tears, my hurts, my sorrows
and definitely my happiness.
all there.
but anyway, i took wrong direction.
so landed up in ghim moh.
then took 111 again to suntec.
went over to marina square to find him.
he was waiting for tear down.
so we walked around at ms for awhile.
then meeting dad at toa payoh.
so nice of him to send me to toa payoh.
hehe. thankies loads.

sunday:
woke up rather late.
received eugene's msg.
was about to have lunch but in the end
went out to meet him for awhile.
LOL.
seriously i thought i was a fast shopper.
now i know he is an even faster shopper.
within 15 minutes, we got 2 shirts for his camp and a $5 gift.
LOL.
it's bubble tea again for me.
for i think i am pretty sick of it now.
bleah.
then went to get ingredients for aunt.

came home chatted a bit with jeeyon.
not a good news.
and is rather bad.
but still, jia you!
probably it may be hard but you are his strength now.
loads of encouragement will keep him happy.
it may probably not cure him but at least he can have a peace of mind.
*touchwood*
but still may his last moments and memories be happy, free from suffering.

reminds me of this special friend i have.
i really admire his courage and strength
and how he went through ordeals like that...

you know...
life is always an accident.
don't you think so?
there are many things that happened unexpectedly.
and there were many things that were supposed to happen earlier
but it didn't.
and probably there were also things that started out, out of rashness.
but nevertheless, destiny has it's way.

some times in life, there were many many opportunities for two paths to cross
but it didn't.
it only happened at a certain moment.
and you will always think why didn't our paths cross earlier?
probably we could have done so much more things together...
or probably even, my life wouldn't be like this now.
or it's too late...
well...
life, it's not so much about past and future.
but at the moment.
yes, you can plan for your future.
but will it take place?
no, it won't if you don't do something now.

life is not about regrets.
but making the best out of it.
accidents can be beautiful too.
it's how you view it and make it.

yst night chatted with angie quite a bit.
a bit about life and currents.
talked a bit about the upcoming wedding as well.
she seems pretty surprised at how my views have changed.
for someone as stubborn as me and strong headed,
she knows best, that certain things
i have never considered about it seriously.
yeah.
true.
=)
but still i think she gives good advices.
thanks buddy.
you're treasured.
and i really really miss you loads.

randoms

2008-07-11T12:35:00.009+08:00

thursday:
4E9 gathering.
loads of photo for this page.
met them at newton circus.
hehe.

met him near my workplace then he sent me to newton circus.
wahahahahaha.
yeah. we work nearby too!

met 4E9 at newton mrt.
the group has hanisah, devi, lynn, jona, cj, dennis, twk, jason, marilyn, syu, me.
syu and hanisah chop places at newton first.
walked over joined them when i reached.
ooops.
i was the latest.
=p
sat down and started ordering food.
then we started cam-whoring too...

lynn, hanisah and me

us again

us... (i look very fair horz??? i should go suntanning again.)

twk, dennis and jona

me, lynn and devi (aka muni)

hanisah, syu and jona

twk and syu

left: hanisah, jona, twk
right: cj, dennis, jason

lynn and muni

dennis and me solely attacking stingray (the rest claimed that it tasted weird. but it's ok for me.)

jona came over to our table to snatch food

me!!!

dennis and me

can you solve the puzzle?

the girls (me, lynn, muni, syu and hanisah) i almost fell off my chair when taking this photo, cause the seat is damn small for 5 people

group photo, each of the guys get to bring back one girl home. =p

me attacking kueh pie tie (lynn's fav.. [hint to someone.])

happy birthday!!! birthday cake from swensens

3 sleepy heads (jona's two "wives" LOL.)

the 4 cancerians: Lynn, Jona, Jason and Me

Cut cake ceremony

Jason and me

the candle couldn't lit up cause wind too strong...
lynn wants to eat cake, jona wants to cam whore and i want to show my unique hairstyle. =p

jason and me...
SCANDAL ONE: lynn and jona???
SCANDAL TWO: jason and me???
SCANDAL THREE: jona and me??

so... who is with who now???
LOL
me loves cake
Hanisah and I

Messing around with Marilyn's kun. hehe

me, marilyn, hanisah and devi

syu, devi, marilyn, hanisah, me

us again

blah.
i really miss this class loads.
<3 4e9!!!

randoms

2008-07-09T14:10:00.005+08:00

- Germaine Greer -

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

if that is true, i hope to find someone that i can fall in love with many many times.

and it seems like it is not only me whom have caught the wedding bug.

hahaha.

huiling too!!

said she felt like getting married.

after she watched they kissed again.

haha

me caught the bug from watching too much "we got married"

this week's episode shows them taking wedding photo!

Alex and Shin Ae:

my fav photo! you know why? they are on a Beetle!!! =)

me love this too.
and this...

Alex and Solbi

i want something like that too.

hehe.
so sweet right?
me want cute cute wedding photos like alex and shin ae!

i think i should start thinking and planning

randoms

2008-07-07T00:45:00.002+08:00

friday:
went to marine parade today again.
did setup for sat.
met this shuai ge from adrian's side.
hehe.
helped me do networking.
after configuring, played a round of dota left for plaza sing.
meeting w36k there for dinner.
i was freaking late.
for around 40 mins+
haiz.
talked cock with them.
so nice to see them again.
and it's nice to see the guys in black specs.

after dinner with them at carl's junior,
met him at plaza sing.
LOL.
poor boy, have to come all the way from home.
hahaha.
he ended work early so he went home first.
blah.
we shopped in plaza sing awhile then went to take bus.
stayed at the playground to chat awhile.

saturday:
went to marine parade for event.
met wei loon.
so nice to see him again.
and he is really damn tall.
ended quite late.
went home.
sleep.

sunday:
woke up late.
hehe.
had lunch at home then went out.
went over to b.panjang to find him.
then took bus to haw par villa.
wahahahha.
my 2nd time at haw par villa.
and since he always say haw par villa is 1 of his playground
made him bring me around.
LOL.
ended up me narrated stories to him.
LOL.
but ten courts of hell is really his playground.
hehe.
then we went over to vivocity for shopping!
then go home after that.
=)

randoms

2008-07-04T02:26:00.009+08:00

My Immortal
By Evanescence

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

[Chorus:]
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

firstly i would like to thank uday and daniel for the wonderful article.
it was so impactful that all the memories in my past just gushes back into reality.
it really hit me hard.

"Her constant smiles and expressions of happiness hardly do reflect an individual who has and is going through insurmountable hardship, physically and emotionally. Her solace from sadness is the very entity that many of us look at with the opposing view.

hmmm...
LOL.
i never knew that.
haha

i pondered a bit in the whole afternoon.
hahaha.
i thought i should let him read about it first.
afterall, it will be published.

he was shocked.
but later then, he took it quite well.

at some point of time in life;
sometimes you may land yourself in events so bad,
you are willing to give everything up
just to get things right again..

after thinking...
hmmm...
yeah.
i tink i have made the right choice.
the words he said...
it is the exact same 1st impression i had for him.
=)
thanks loads.
for everything.

i have confidence in you...
=)

randoms

2008-07-03T01:03:00.002+08:00

muhahahahah.
happening day.
woke up early today.
started work.
ran toilet.
had complaints from eugene.
hahahha.
yeah.
problems...
finished work.
went to meet eugene for lunch.
chicken rice.
and red tea ice blended.
then we settled down somewhere near my block to talk.
talked super loads.
talked until around 5.30pm then went to mrt.
took the train to city hall.
met cz at raffles city.
then waited for him to finish work at clarke quay.
he came over to join us for dinner.
had dinner at bugis.
then walked over to nafa to take bus.
=)

randoms

2008-07-02T13:30:00.002+08:00

Only Hope
By Mandy Moore

There's a song that's inside of my soul.
It's the one that I've tried to write over and over again
I'm awake in the infinite cold.
But you sing to me over and over and over again.

So, I lay my head back down.
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours, I pray, to be only yours
I know now you're my only hope.

Sing to me the song of the stars.
Of your galaxy dancing and laughing and laughing again.
When it feels like my dreams are so far
Sing to me of the plans that you have for me over again.

So I lay my head back down.
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours, I pray, to be only yours
I know now, you're my only hope.

I give you my destiny.
I'm giving you all of me.
I want your symphony, singing in all that I am
At the top of my lungs, I'm giving it back.

So I lay my head back down.
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours, I pray, to be only yours
I pray, to be only yours
I know now you're my only hope.

do you know each song that you listen
it can be related to someone, or a situation?
though this song has got nothing related to him.
but it does reminds me of him...

LOL.
if you ever reading this...
yeah.
ONLY HOPE.
lol.

somethings, probably we are the only ones whom will understand.
nevertheless, i couldn't care less.
because i am comfortable in the way i am.
so be comfortable too.
=)
you are a treasured friend.

randoms

2008-07-01T00:38:00.002+08:00

la la la la.
woke up early today.
got morning call from him.
zzz.
went back to sleep for another 30mins
then woke up.
then call cz, cz haven't wake up at all.
so went online to do a bit of work.
then met cz went to office.
did a bit of work.
went to chung cheng high (main) for meeting.
my cousin's sch.
hehe.
then after meeting went to old airport road for dinner.
met erwin chua.
then talked to him awhile.
he is becoming more and more hot.
muhahah.
then after dinner went to kallang leisure park.
wah.
walked there.
damn far.
there damn lots of things.
so cool.
=)
i wanna go back there again.
cabbed home.

my throat is so sore now.
blah.

randoms

2008-06-30T03:08:00.002+08:00

thursday:
went to heeren to meet meiqi.
then went to novena to meet jona and dennis.
went back to yishun.
met devi, hanisah, lynn and cj with jona and dennis.
and guess whom i saw while waiting for lynn?
EUGENE!
it's like...
LOL.
so qiao.
cause earlier that, i was actually smsing him and cj.
wahahaha.
then we went over to jalan mata ayer for dinner.
talked super loads.
then we walked over to yss, kenneth's block.
sat there to chat.
it's super fun to see them again.
though i meet cj and jona often but meeting them in a gang was real good.
totally miss 4/9
hopefully next one, XMAS will be all there.
=)

and today i found out that cj is a real good listener and advisor.
LOL.
thanks bro.

friday:
went out early to settle printing.
then realised cz cancelled meeting.
had SO MUCH time to rot.
went shopping alone.
walked whole of bugis.
then finally settled down to read.
waited till huiling came.
went over to pick up prints.
then went to sim lim to get her charger parts.
was fascinated with the wires and and cables.
hahah.
felt proud of myself.
at least me know what are they and which is which.
muhahaha.
went to eat laksa.
talked super loads abt myself.
and guys.
HAHAHA.
me wanting to intro sparky to her.
cause i tink their character can click.
and i almost got killed by cz when i told him.
ok lah. not killed.
but he was speechless.
LOL.
see... i told u.
me see people won't wrong de.
met bie and qian qian at the laksa stall.
went shopping with them.
then they left early.
me carried on gossips with huiling.
hehe.
arigato huiling. for accompanying me.
went down to heeren for setup.
me reached first then larry then cz then christine.
we finished quite fast.
so went to pub later on.
left ard 3am.
shag.
go home slp.

woke up early again.
thought super hard what to wear.
HAHAHA.
cause got eye candy.
:x
then went to do last min print.
cabbed down to heeren.
happening.
had fun in the roadshow.
i like this team.
though i miss darling super loads.
she's my best team mate still.
got super lots of chance to see eye candy.
he is so prominent.
LOL.
after teardown, went to pasta mania for dinner.
NR1 home.

sunday:
woke up quite late.
msn online.
chatted awhile with him.
then had a nap.
LOL.
realized one good advantage of having a bf:
he can be your alarm clock.
wahahahaha.
ok. kidding.
but i almost oversleep though.
soon i realised i oversleep also nvrmind.
cause cz also haven't wakeup.
woke cz up, took cab to botanic gardens.
met the HCI peeps.
and i saw campus superstar too.
ok, she's with their team.
so me get to work with her.
i think quite cool.
get to meet alot of campus superstar recently.
went over to far east for dinner after recee.
then went "event" shopping.
LOL.
has been a long while having fun with cz.
partly because we were damn caught up with work.
didn't have fun so long.
=)

ok.
me go sleep liao.
bth le.
SO TIRED!
man.
heck the euros.
SPAIN will win.
nevertheless, sleep more important.

last but not least...
VOTE 燊林帖 for tmr's SUPERBAND.
jeeyon and desmond,
all the best for tmr.
=)
i'll vote!

randoms

2008-06-29T14:17:00.001+08:00

this the LOVERS card from the new urban tarot card deck series.

i think it is nice.
=)

and i realised i did something i never expected myself to do.
hmmm.

randoms

2008-06-29T02:48:00.002+08:00

hmmm...
huge happenings recently.
super busy with work.
just completed roadshow.
and most importantly, get to see 豬豬 again.
got eye candy during work isn't bad you know.
and he is nice.

LOL.
oh man.
is BIG HAPPENING.
shan't say.
but i think only huiling know.
man...

...

2008-06-26T13:35:00.001+08:00

hmmm...
thank you.

randoms

2008-06-25T13:49:00.002+08:00

hmmm... so many happenings for the past week.
sorry for the super lack of updates.
had been super busy with work recently.
let me think where should i start with...

thursday:
woke up rather late, did a bit of work before going down to bras basah.
last minute shopping of logistics.
then went over to collect my posters.
22 pcs in all.
ALOT.
and most of it in AO and A1 size.
LOL.
cabbed back home.
put the things down at home.
busy busy day and i still managed to have dinner with him.
not too bad.
hehe.
then waited for tiffy to come over to my house.
cabbed to cz's house, collect more things, went over to heeren.
set up begins.
actually we finished setting up rather early.
around 1+am.
but we had nothing to do and lazy cabbed back home.
so we went to mac to have supper/breakfast.
then laze around, played games, sleep.
i had 3 mosquito bites.
and they bit me and not them.
not fair.

friday:
api people arrived around 10am.
they are super late.
heeren already scolding le.
blah.
set up completed around 12pm.
with their props lahz.
damn sleepy.
after setup nothing much to do except for sound.
helped ian to put up the backdrop.
went home around 5pm.
papa came to fetch.
went home sleep.
woke up at 10pm.
settle sat's launch.
sleep.

saturday:
woke up at 10am.
went back to office to collect the launch props thing.
booked cab, went over to heeren.
i realised i damn pro.
carried two pullup banners
and 2 acrylic light box.
pro right?
when reach heeren, asked sparky to help.
hehe.
then slacked a bit.
went to collect stickers from ian.
then do the sticker up.
went for lunch with vict.
bought back.
the chicken rice uncle very good.
gave me discount.
=p
then started coordinating the launch.
hp batt flat is a very miserable thing.
after launch, went for dinner.
pasta mania.
yum yum.
then went back to the show.
going to close soon.
but the crowd is still there.
got scammed by sparky and ah boy to tell ghost story.
told one.
real de.
then went to help them catch people to tell ghost story.
cabbed home.

sunday:
took the train down to heeren.
reached there around 12pm.
heng i never go there at 11am.
sparky, ah boy and shany just reached only.
i am smart.
=)
help set up.
then major slack.
did photography today.
hehe.
my skills not bad oh.
=)
had loads of fun with api people and rgs girls.
closed the show.
dismantling.
went home.
chatted a bit online with him and ah boy.
stomach upset.
=(
the flu virus was back

monday:
didn't sleep well.
run toilet to vomit several times.
woke up early went doc.
back home slept till noon.
then went online, chatted a bit on msn.
then went to office.
work work work.
had dinner with dennis.
then sh gave us a lift halfway home.

tuesday:
woke up quite early.
studied a bit.
weekly affair with cj resumes.
lol.
oh, anyway, i bluffed cj that i was taking part in a competition in heeren on friday morning.
and he really believed me.
LOL.
cause he asked me how was the competition.
hehe.
la la la la.
had tom yum noodles for dinner.
worst tom yum i ever had.
so my tom yum craving still not satisfied.
and guess what?
cj knows dennis!!!
yeah. my landlord, dennis.
wahahahah.
the world is so so small.
had fun during lesson.
haven't got rusty after a week's break.
good.
=)

anyway, anyone interested in paranormal tour?
5 july api having one.
me still thinking whether to go.
cause i have work in the noon.
wahahahah.
anyone?
probably i should ask gor gor again.

i really need to do something to my hair.
probably dye it again.
the color is fading off.
hmmm...

I WANT TOM YUM!

randoms

2008-06-23T01:37:00.002+08:00

hmmm...
15 mins has gone...
then 10 mins.
then he smsed.
then i replied.
then now half an hour.
he has yet to call!!!!
THAT IDIOT!!!

don't want wait le.
stomach not feeling super duper good.
blah.
goodnight.

tarot card reader said:
you have already met someone that you can settle down with.
both of you share a common interest, ideology and thinking towards life.
he is almost your mirror image.

hmmm...
scratch head.
REALLY???
LOL.
probably.
;)

randoms

2008-06-22T00:47:00.003+08:00

tmr will be the last day.
20th June 2008, marks my 1st breakthrough in my events career.
the first time i managed this event single-handed.
from conceptualizing to logistics to management to the artwork.
and i have received lots of positive comments from the GOH, client and my mentor.

and definitely, this event would not be of any success without a good team.
SUPER MANY THANKS to cz and tiffy.
for tonning with me.

and of course special mention to ian again.
whom have always been a big help to me in many many events.
from teaching me photoshop to "saving" me.

and also the two others from API whom have helped alot in coordination.
sparky and ah boy.
=)

and and and also...
fantastic crew and fukuan for their performances.

this event really meant alot to me.
before confluence, this event is the most emotional one to me.
because this time wrong, i do not have anyone to help me with the concepts the drawing.
everything really came out purely with what i thought, what i want and what charles wanted.
when i was the artwork for them, chionging 30 hours of it,
there was a point, i really really wanted to give up
because my right hand went totally numb doing the work.
and it hurt so much moving a inch of it till i thought slip-disc was nearing me.
and i remembered one night, into my 20+ hours of editing their artwork,
it was around 5am and i was still doing, hungry and hands really aching,
i was actually crying while doing the artwork.
no exaggeration ok?
i was really really crying.
but my hands didn't stop.
and each day, no matter wat time i do the designs till, i would wake up at 10.30am.
so sometimes i only had 3 or 4 hours of slp before worrying other things.
my mind was so so filled up with each and every detail that i thought i was dying.
LOL.

and today...
after seeing fantastic crew's first performance at 1pm,
i could see clearly why they are all dancing.
the one thing different about them with the dance groups i know of is that,
in each and every members, young or old
i can only see one word: PASSION.
and i suddenly understood why i didn't give up...
everything suddenly seemed so clear to me.

i couldn't help it but took my phone out and msged my brother:
now i know why i am in events.. probably nothing else in this earth can give me as much satisfaction as seeing an event's success. perhaps i may have a long way to perfection but i am happy learning the way everyday.

and wat my brother replied really made me teared.
partly because probably what the both of us felt was it was a pity she isn't here to witness all of our achievements.
and also we only managed to fulfill it after she left.
she is always missed.

and also thank you to:
hl for her daily gmail chats that helps distract me from my work a little.
wk for his care and concern.
him for distracting me from work with quick lunches and dinners, constant reminders and encouragements. (friend worth having. [his identity shall still remain a secret, request by him])

randoms

2008-06-19T21:03:00.002+08:00

serene has been working so hard for tonight.
the big show.
it cannot fail.
it must not fail.
serene jia you.
=)

little surprise from you is so fun!
=)

randoms

2008-06-18T05:49:00.002+08:00

the time people wake up
is the time i sleep.
welcome to my job.
irregular hours.
haiz.

after more than 30 hours of photoshopping...
I HAVE FINALLY COMPLETED THE WHOLE SET OF ARTWORK.
omg!
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.
i really did it.
hands damn numb now.
eyes damn tired.
i was on the verge of smashing my lappy.
and the last 3 hours of so... i actually do the artwork while crying.
LOL.
especially it is at night.
the feeling is like damn desperate.
even through desperation, i still ask myself for perfection.
i refused to compromise my quality of work.
and so.. i had to do the work while crying.
and seriously i think sometimes i am damn crazy.
real real crazy.
WHY THE FUCK AM I DOING THIS?
because of one stupid word call:
DREAM.
yet, it is also this stupid word that makes me go crazy.

randoms

2008-06-17T18:37:00.002+08:00

SERENE IS SO FUCKING STRESS.
i think i went crazy doing the artwork yst night.
PS: i'm still doing it now.
LOL.
so you know how crazy i can be.
worst is, the artwork is from api.
all the ghostly thing.
omg.
and indeed i had nightmare ok!
i dreamt of my ex and his friend (whom still owes me 1.4k! DAMN TAT IDIOT)
so yeah.
fuck.

sorry.
a bit vulgar here.
started doing the things since morning.
papa so surprised to see me home and so messy.
LOL.
then he bought me lunch.
was about to eat it when afternoon delight messaged.
wahahahaha.
met him for lunch instead.
a super short one.
"afternoon delight" is good for relieving stress you know?
hehe.
then also chatted with huiling online.
wahahahha.
more relief of stress.
though i am still stressed.
i had a nap.
and guess what i dreamt of?
of myself in the hospital.
THIS IS BAD.
haiz.

surprise surprise!
=)

randoms

2008-06-17T03:24:00.002+08:00

hmmm... my super BUSY week has started
as predicted, the artwork came in steadily.
haiz.
and now me working through the night for printing.
haiz.

JIA YOU JIA YOU

office was boring.
loads of people today.
everyone from the other rooms were also around.
and i realised it was like us and landlord's wife renting only so far.
anyone wants cheap office space let me know.
be my neighbour!

yawns.
do work and work and work.
went for dinner with daniel (landlord) and dennis.
the double Ds are cool. =)
and then met this tarot card reader whom reads fortune too.
and i think he is simply amazing.
felt so naked.
he could see through my life and predict it correctly.
apparently he thinks my bazhi is impressive.
LOL.
that's cool.
but nope, i don't have good life.
LOL.
it's a bitter and sweet thing.

在試著活在他的世界裏
原來是個那麽複雜但又美麗的世界

randoms

2008-06-15T22:58:00.002+08:00

hmmm...
after that sleep over, spent my days hibernating at home.
sleep and sleep and sleep.
sleeping marathon.
yawns.

it is going to be back to chionging work tmr.
i can foresee short week, LONG HOURS.
haiz.
i am missing my bed already.

hmmm...
weird.
everyone has been chatting with me on this issue recently:
CHANGES.
first it was jona and jl.
then cz.
then him.

so are changes good or bad?
i don't know.
the world is changing everyday.
even myself.
hmmm...
anyway, jia you.
=)

he came over today.
met him at the playground.
he even went to the wrong playground.
= =
went over to 928 for ice.
it has been a humid day.
talked awhile and then zk came over to join us.
never knew that zk stays at 928.
which is like SO FREAKING near my house.
AND AND AND.
oh man.
i don't want to say liao.
it is my usual hangout lah.
next time i say anything must be very careful.
after finish ice, walked a little, talked a little, and went back home.
then met papa and gor gor for dinner.
HAPPY FATHER"S DAY.
=)

whole in whole, i feel changes are there everyday, everywhere.
whether good or bad, i think probably making the best out of it is the best.
because i never want to regret in life.
=)

randoms

2008-06-14T11:13:00.002+08:00

it was a super long day.
just got home.
:x
yesterday afternoon after finishing my work,
met him at yishun station.
then we went to PS to meet his friends.
his fren is buying keyboard.
hmmm... interesting.
i play a little keyboard back in sec sch.
but i was more impressed with the mixer boards
and flat crates?
yeah.
LOL.
ok. it's call occupational disease.
had dinner then he went to meet his friends.
I went over to cz's house.
talked cock a bit.
went home.
after bathing, received a call from jona.
blah.
the following is not for weak hearts.
and hopefully he doesn't read it too...
LOL.
so anyway, brought poker cards and board game went to meet jl and jona.
went over to jl's house.
played indian poker and big 2.
loser must drink 1/2 cup of wine/liquor.
man.
jl and me damn suay.
kept kana.
before 2am, we 2 already cmi le.
so then we went to sleep.
yeah... never read wrongly, but don't think dirty.
thank goodness his bed is a queen size.
and now i know why beds are meant for 2 people and not 3.
we 3 squeezed into one bed and sleep.
damn comical lah.
anyway, if you can't drink, better don't play with them.
LOL.
lucky i am still alert.
i mean afterall, we may be buddies since young,
i'm a girl lah.
so should be careful too.
but anyway, it's not everyday you get to sleep with 2 cute guys too right?
-kidding-
and his mum woke up damn early, around 7am.
so couldn't sleep after that.
and jona was snoring away (i didn't realise he snores too)
so chatted a bit with jl.
whole in whole, it was quite a havoc experience lah.
LOL.
blah.

randoms

2008-06-13T02:11:00.002+08:00

yawns.
tired tired tired.
everyday is OT OT OT.
haiz.
sian.
sleepy.
NOT ENOUGH SLEEP ARH!!!

miss serene yeo's mood isn't too good as well.
BECAUSE SHE IS LACK OF SLEEP!!!

wednesday:

horrible.
was out running one whole day.
haiz.
went to funan to meet boshi to collect cd from him.
then went to find tzi yun at toa payoh.
stayed there for quite awhile.
talked cock with her and calvin and adrian.
then went to amk to meet cz.
had subway for dinner.
talked to the aunty who was sitting beside my table.
interesting people.
then went to borders.
had this $15 gift card thingy from borders.
bought a Japanese workbook for myself to practise.
me very hardworking de ok.
i saw a couple of books.
can get me for my birthday.
hehe.
=p

thursday:

day started not bad.
primarily because the moment i left house i received a sms.
LOL.
began to search for nice nice restaurants for dinner event.
then went to amkcc to find larry.
had lunch with him.
mee soto!
then taught him how to play dota (yes, i have a disciple now. JEALOUS?)
LOL.
kidding.
after that, went back to office.
fixed up the other table.
furnish the office a bit.
did a bit of fengshui thingy.
buy me green or brown things for my table kkz?
then went to shaw house to meet jian rui (HCI, yup, from last project)
helping him with another project.
got to meet this other new guy, edwin also from HCI.
LOL.
i shouldn't say this but i realised i do have great affinity with HCI guys or ex-HCI guys recently.
keep meeting them.
and know what?
i really admire some of them.
with brains, with looks and good in sports somemore.
wa.
really dream guy.
LOL.
MOST IMPORTANTLY MUST CAN CLICK!
;p

then i met shifu at shaw house too.
after meeting the HCI people, went to cine for dinner.
met edmund.
he came over to hala hala a bit during dinner.
then home sweet home.

Now people, i need a HUGE favor from you all.
on behalf of me darlings from NP (the team i'm mentoring),
we are proud to present to you:
STAR

STAR means Service learning Through Amazing Race.
yeah.
don't have to guess.
need you all to support by joining.
i won't be directly involve in this event BUT
you will get to see me at the ending point in Heeren.
Cause i will be having a roadshow in Heeren on 21st.
so after STAR, can see me at paranormal fair.
SO SO SO SO SO
PLEASE JOIN OK?
don't disappoint my darlings.
i really spent alot of effort and time to go to NP to and fro to mentor them de.
(~ya ya, as if~)
LOL.
but anyway, they are more lovable than RP students!
to prove me wrong, you RP ppl must show support by joining!

randoms

2008-06-11T04:01:00.002+08:00

stayed home today.
did a bit of work.
studied a bit.
napped quite a bit.

met cj at toa payoh for classes.
i am early today.
=)
and the funniest thing was that we were waiting at the same area for each other for 10 minutes.
cause i was too small for him to find.
= =
had mcdonalds (my request)
craving for it.
lesson was fun today.
=)
partly i found out that cute guy is still a student.
LOL.

going home was fun.
was talking about accidents and suicides.
blah
reached home studied a bit.
then someone said he wanted to call me.
so we spoke on the phone after that.
until now.
about 2 hours+?
yeah.
and i even missed my da mo jin!
but it's ok.
he was nice to talk to.
initially i thought, would it be funny if we chatted on phone
LOL.
because i had no idea what we can talk about.
i mean, it is different from going out.
if you are outside at least you can talk about surroundings.
but we were at home.
but it's good.
that we actually could speak about anything everything.
and agree at same things.

hahahaha

lost grip.
i thought i had.

randoms

2008-06-10T02:13:00.002+08:00

hmmm...
today was an interesting day.
woke up super duper early at 7.43am (thanks to rayson's morning msg)
zzz.
was supposed to wake up at 8am.
but since it was about time to wake up, when to brush teeth lorz.
slept all the way in 854.
1st to reach office.
not even my landlord is there!
arrived just nice, the logistic people arrived.

completed quite alot of things.
good.
got the designs out.
stoopid 3D drawings.
played tradewinds 2
played dota.
smsed.
and finally...
larry dropped by office.
weee.
got company.
no more sianness.
and him being the resident joker,
he is ever the funny.
walked over to the other warehouse for dinner.
nice fish slice bee hoon and super big bowl.
YUM YUM.

after dinner, went to united square to meet harry.
and all i could say is... WOW.
nothing but WOW.
and harry isn't what i thought of.
he really inspires me alot.
with every word he says, you can see passion in his eyes.
and by looking at him, it is as if he has answered every doubts and questions i had for myself.
not about my own capability.
but about my decision.
and i think everyone thinks i am nuts to give up a uni placing for passion.
but after talking to him today, i am definitely sure, i was clear headed all along.
no regrets.

and we talked about alot of things.
including army days.
yeah.. spooky ghost story that indeed spooks us out.
blah.
and about ivan chin.
the number one sports car fanatic in singapore.
wa.
it's really simply jaws dropping.

randoms

2008-06-08T23:56:00.003+08:00

ok... it has been a happening week for me.

sorry for the lack of updates or slip short posts.
had to run about for 2 events which fell on saturday
and planning the others that are coming up REAL soon.
so sorry, bear a bit.

let's start with friday:

woke up early to settle some stuff with my supplier.
(previous night was at ikea, got home late... remember?)
after that, went off to sim lim tower to get some LED lights.
slept on the bus. shiok.
after walking here and there, figuring out how to use the LED light,
went to burger king to do edit some artwork so that my supplier can print it.
laptop batt was dying so walked over to national library.
library sucks pretty much.
because their connection is so darn slow.
:(
then walked over to raffles city.
wanted food but ian called.
ask me send again.
so settled down at ochacha for a cup of matcha on the rock.
erm, saw this sec sch mate of mine.
serene ain't friendly, totally ignored her even though she sat in front of me.
(ok, i didn't really notice her cause i was busy trying to send out the work.)
so when i finally smiled, she ignored me.
LOL.
after that, took mrt to bedok.
am darn tired, i slept on the train.
I MISSED STOPS!!!!
ended up in tampines instead.
took cab to office (kaki bukit)
finally arrived and saw cz and tiffy trying to meddle with the lock.
and of course, i get to hear nagging from 熊さん (read kuma-san; meaning bear)
[don't guess who i am referring to...]
so yup.
began to fix up the furnitures we got from ikea.
the clever serene managed to fix 1 table, 2 sofas, 1 chair all BY HER OWN.
*pats myself*
=p
so after that, we went off for dinner.
it was around 11+pm!
went to bedok reservoir for dinner.
they have nice western food.
yum yums.
then cabbed back to office.
christine came over.
so sweet of her.
=)
brought psp and mp3 for us.
(ok... those are for events)
and then we continued with our furnitures, cabbed home.
moment i reached home, rush to the shower then bed.

saturday:
woke up damn early again.
got papa to bring me to office.
waited for that logistic guy to come.
daniel (landlord) dropped by.
pass me a better key for the lock.
logisitc guy came.
happened to be a gentle malay uncle.
and his assistant is a cute malay guy.
hitched a ride to smu.
started work.
more nagging from 熊さん
dave was very helpful.
got to meet larry, raymond.
tiffy and vict joined us later. (they were running RP's event)
saw familiar faces among the participants,
damien (that cute cute eye candy whom i used to do nightlife events with) and his cousin
and ting ting.
saw jensen, vincent (lfi).
the peeps from tjc (a.r.k team) and np.
and i think i did one kindness that day.
by asking and reminding vincent (tjc) to fill up the lucky draw coupon.
you know why?
because he was the winner of the lucky draw! a new psp.
=)
yeah.
proud of myself.
after event, had chilling out session with vincent (lfi), larry, ting ting and cz.
cabbed home.

sunday:

woke up not so early.
dressed prettily today.
was invited as a speaker to Touche 2008
frankly speaking, i had no idea what was it about initially.
i just know i was supposed to talk.
and when they intro us as a social enterprise, i thought it was a social entrepreneur talk.
and today was my 1st time looking at the slides cz prepared.
and as always, it was very messy, and i dunnoe what he was trying to do.
so... i smoked through it.
or rather, spoke impromptu.
and guess what?
i was the youngest among all (excluding the small boy)!
and guess what again?
i was sitting in a room among the future doctors (dentist and phD holders)
it was overwhelming.

turn out was ok.
and it's a bit weird talking to people older than me and in a crowd.
so i didn't really elaborate much in my sharing.
(to read more about it, get the book. =) will let you all know when it is out)
LOL.
Q&A was good.
though the poor sci guy got bombard alot of sci questions.
LOL.
and as usual 熊さん spoke alot.
after that, met papa and relatives.
had dinner.
went to conference hall (sco building) for chung cheng (main) high's concert band.
my little cousin is playing.
so yup.
please don't kill me huiling, but i think they play alot better than rp.
no kidd.
rpws should really improve themselves.
though ccmh standard cannot be compared to muhe's but they are still decent in playing as compared to rp.
haiz. disappointing man.
so yup.
that's all for sunday.

last sunday, SUPERBAND 2008 had their 1st public performance in IMM.
told jeeyon i would go but didn't because i had to move office.
sorry about it.
but managed to catch his performance on youtube.

so catch it here.

a song that cz likes.
and cried. [i didn't bluff. he said]
wa....
so you all better watch it.

and i found their audition song too.
so enjoy arh...

and that day was chatting with jeeyon and he actually said my dp:

looked like cz...
-peng-
i almost killed myself after event.
the next place i wanna go will probably be korea.
for plastic surgery.
(cz dun kill me. not say you ugly, but i think looking like you IS DAMN WEIRD)
la la la la la la.
anyway, all the best to jeeyon and desmond.

lost grip.

randoms

2008-06-08T13:09:00.001+08:00

i want a 日本先生 (read in jap, not chi: nihon sensei) as handsome as him!!!

日本先生

randoms

2008-06-07T23:06:00.001+08:00

tired.
just came back from event.
tmr morning have another one.
haiz.

i am losing sleep.
and losing my social life too.
misses.

met my cute eye candy today.
whom happened to attend the forum that i was managing.
muhahahhaha.
weeee.
it's cool to have eye candies while working.
especially someone whom you have not met for quite some time.

dinner and chilling out at breko after event.
with ting ting, cz, vincent and larry.
hmmmm...
first time meeting larry though we spoke on the phone many times.
think he is more comical in person.
LOL.

and i finally got to see how an aries is like if he is married.
you have no idea that he is till you see his ring.
even with his ring, you thought he isn't.
hmmm...

speaking of which, reminds me of something.
would a guy wear a ring on his ring finger if he doesn't has a gf or wife?
and the ring is always on him?
am just curious.

randoms

2008-06-06T16:53:00.002+08:00

i'm hungry.
and tired.
=(
and i still can't eat.

if only they were more considerate,
i don't think i will be sitting here feeling hungry.
=(

haiz haiz haiz.

and i have been having trashy days.
yesterday and today.

i have not felt any trashier than now.
tired. hungry. sick.
=(
and you know what kept me going?
those little encouragements...

randoms

2008-06-06T02:56:00.002+08:00

today is a super super tired day.
and probably the most suay day?
don't know..
don't know whether to laugh or to cry?
haiz.

went over to smu today for this sat's event.
ain't too happy.
went to ikea, broke my bracelet there.
:(
and i couldn't find all the beads.
felt a bit lost without it now.
after all have been wearing it for many years.
and it was something very sentimental.
but still haiz.

bought loads of furniture for new office.
yvonne came over to help us.
met the two cute kids again.
on the way, witnessed an accident.
a cyclist got knocked down.
female cyclist.
hope she is fine.

went to mac for dinner.
only had dinner around 12am.
will be catching lesser sleep soon.
=(

probably it was about time i should learn how to let go?

randoms

2008-06-05T03:35:00.002+08:00

just finished honey and clover.
noticed this guy damn erm.. sexy.
and familiar. couldn't really think where i saw him.
with a little check... you guess which drama he was in?

now...

12 years ago...

wahahaha! yesh yesh. he is naoki.
OMG LAHZ!

randoms

2008-06-04T03:35:00.002+08:00

monday:
phew.
it was quite a happening day.
went to rp again to meet the gems people.
after meeting them and viewing the hall, called gor gor.
went to e1, level 10 have lunch with him.
first time up there.
the chicken chop is nice.
though i heard from gor gor they are closing soon.
after that, gor gor was so nice.
brought us (me and cz) down to level 9 to see around.
met samuel and arthur.
didn't know they were working in school.
LOL. i was pretty shocked to see them and they were pretty shocked to see me too.

after lunch and exploring, went off to rochor.
went to take a look at some furnitures.
anyone have cheap furnitures to recommend other than ikea?
hehe.

tuesday:
today is pretty slow.
other than my weekly affair with cj.
as usual, it's always full of fun.
LOL.
not because of him but i am usually crazy on tues.
yeah.
me super excited always.
too bad today have class, can't have dinner with him.
so anyway, i wore specs to class today.
(it have been years since cj last seen me in specs. probably sec sch)
so he said i look a bit gee na, like primary sch kid.
really arh?
i cut my fringe recently.
probably bah.
i have loads of photos but super lazy to post.
wait till i clear my projects first bah.

randoms

2008-06-01T21:15:00.003+08:00

saturday:
woke up early today.
went to heeren to meet victoria and supposingly someone from a dance group.
sadly, we waited quite long and he didn't turn up.
and it started to rain.
so we took lunch at nydc while waiting for the rain to stop.
met khalifa. and we took photo.

victoria, khalifa and me.

then we went over to far east plaza to shop.
almost bought a dress, damn nice.
but it is $40+ and we don't think it is worth it.
so didn't.
went to vanessa's (victoria's aunt) shop.
she has these damn cool LED lights earring.
if interested, can go to my links and click on Victoria.N to see more.

vict, me and her aunt.

after far east shopping, went over to taka.
viewed the cheerobics competition.
quite cool.
and finally got to meet that guy from the dance team.
happened that my pri sch fren is in his team too.
it's all cool.

met my friend at taka for dinner around 7.30pm.
poor him, he was like at taka since 6 waiting for me while i waited for that stupid dance guy.
went to taka.
was at this body shop and he bought perfume/cologne.
ok. he claimed that it is unisex.
and there was promotion going on so we each bought one (cheaper).
then brought him to this damn cool japanese corner for dinner.
muhahahha.
damn nice.
then we walked over to plaza sing and walked a bit in daiso.
discovered alot of cool things.
hmmm. yeah. i am a bit noob.
then we walked over to YMCA to take bus.

went home chatted a bit with jona.
=)

sunday:
woke up early again.
found my way to santuary?
ok. it doesn't look like a church but a old school.
collected something then went off to bugis.
took train to bedok and had a trim.
not bad.
then waited at mcdonalds for cz.

today's topic with cz:
nowadays in a relationship, is there such thing as sex-free?

ok. truthfully, i was pondering over this from yst night.
probably i am a bit conservative but i realised most friends are not virgins.
i'm not stereotyping because i can accept the fact that they are not.
and they are still my friend afterall.
but when it comes to myself, i am thinking,
would i be able to accept the fact if i am not one?
you know, sometimes it's pretty sad when you come to think that the guys you dated previously or your ex are not one.
and you will start to think probably they dated you because they thought you are not one.
a close friend of mine, whom i dated before actually asked me before.
it was because of this word: SEX (which i can't accept and he wants)
that we actually stopped seeing each other.
months after that incident, we happened to meet again in an event and we started talking again.
it was then he declared he was looking for someone with experience.
hmmm...
which made me wondered even more.

somehow i feel...
all dates are good, until the taboo word is mentioned.
and somehow i feel there is a gap between him and me.
probably because i still can't accept it?

randoms

2008-05-31T02:10:00.002+08:00

firstly...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO SERENE TAY!
(yeah... i know it's dated sat, but it's really at night i am typing. haha.)

woke up late today.
did some preparation at home.
ian came over to my house.
helped me with the prototype.
his cologne is damn nice.
lingering in my living room.
yum yum.
=x

tiffy cabbed over and helped me a bit.
yawns.
in rp, started doing set up.
eddy, cz and vict came over to helped.
i think i am a genius (probably i absorbed his "smartness")
:x
LOL.
i actually came out with a drawing and plan.
muhahahha.
which works.
smsed gor gor.
he thought i was in the library.
hehe.
miss him so much.
i don't get to see him at home often you know.
anyway, la la la la
encouraging sms came in soon after 6.
=)
yeah, i can be a meanie at times. haha.

finished work.
had pizza for dinner. loves.
cz forced me to talk tell eddy and tiffy about the scorpian joke.
vict went hysterical again laughing.
same joke, she still can laugh. = =
i realised she looked ugly when she laughed. (sorry girl, i can't help it. for someone pretty like you, to see such a sight is haha. hilarious. =p)
and i laughed at the face she laughs.
and we made fun of the geena bengs and lians in rp.
not rp students, but visitors.
i think they are around 12 years old?
and they have dyed hair!!!
and there was this guy who wore red skinny jeans, red shirt, white cardigan.
when he walked past me, i actually sang:
"we are singapore, we are singapore, we are singaporans..."
ok. that was lame.
i thought he wore it on the wrong time of the year.
and yesh, he has red hair too.
(but mine and vict's are nicer. =p)
so we actually started learning their way of walking too.
and i saw one guy shuffling in rp. (rp student)
i was like = =
man.

we learnt a new module today too.
rp should give me a cert for being so genius.
the physics of ah bengs.
we were investigating why they walked as if they are doing the lambo.
conclusion: because they wore their skinny jeans too low.
in order to prevent the pants from dropping, they need to satisfy an accurate 45 degree bent behind their back.
this is to ensure their butt cheek is able to act as a support.
hahaha.
ok. i am mean.
:x

shock of the day:
refer to 13 may 08 entry.
yeah. i met him.
IN RP!
on a bike. with the 5N people.
which is WOW! (he is from SP...)
and of all places, but i met him in RP?
it's like so coincidence lah.
and we just chatting yst night.
and i saw paul yst too.
and that stoopid cz.
omg.
asked him stupid thing.
like, so who is serene's bf?
and he actually answered: yes, she is my gf. i love her. (in chi)
-peng-
they two can really act.
so la la la la.
damn pai sey.
and the group of 5N people are the ones whom used to tease me back in sec sch lorz.
wa lau.
same gang of people and now cz is with them teasing me.
gosh. THAT WAS SEC SCH OK?

blah.
anyway, never mind.
who cares.

randoms

2008-05-30T02:29:00.003+08:00

omg omg.
i can't believe it.
omg.
the world is too too small.
jus now went to meet cz at the bus stop to go his house pick the things up for tmr.
guess who i saw?
paul (sec sch de)
omg.
i was like saying hi, then trying to avoid him.
soon cz came.
and guess what?
when we boarded the bus,
THEY TWO STARTING TALKING!
paul was like, eh.. serene, you know him arh?
-peng-
THEY TWO PLAY BASKETBALL TOGETHER DE LORZ.
omg omg omg.
i was like OMG!!! HE KNOWS PAUL.
ok.
long history way back to sec sch days.
don't have a good impression of him,
partly caused he scared me away.
LOL.
and he was known as the vampire among us.
ok... so..
hahah.
was really surprised they know each other.
AND STAY SAME BLOCK SOMEMORE.
sian.

you know after talking to vict on tues,
here is what i came out with:

if you are dating/going out with a player/professional
OR
having a no string attached relationship,
here is what you need to know:

RULES OF THE GAME:
1) Don't put true feelings and emotions in it. (you will never know when you get played)
2) Don't be too attached to your partner. (the more you demand, the more he won't give)
3) When the contacting stops: IT'S GAMEOVER BABE (stop contacting him then. unless you think AK47 + 2 bottles of white wine + a trip to hospital is cool)
4) It's good to fantasize of him but dream is never reality. (whatever happens on tv about playboy being good when found 'love' is utter bullshit)
5) Beware, they are always two-timing you. (especially if he happens to be an aries, scorpio, cancer or gemini)
6) If you got played by a player, learn how to play back. =) (you wouldn't want to get hurt again right?)

yup. pretty much like this.
blah.
it's pretty bad.
and it's true it's hard for players to find true love
cause they never know what it is.
and nope.
i am not a player (me not so professional ok? i got played then have.)
so...
haha.

and i came to know the 8th scorpio of the month.
ok. he is really someone i know for a year or so.
but i never asked him before his horoscope until yst.
man.
why are there so many scorpians around suddenly.

randoms

2008-05-29T00:20:00.002+08:00

woke up early today
went for a meeting.
went to PA.
wa... looks like second istana.
damn cool.

went back to office to pack our things.
i am moving to kaki bukit soon.
met yahui and huiling at orchard mrt.
went shopping to get tay's gift.
got an elephant pendant.
it's really cute.
=p

went to きのくにや to rot a bit.
it's my heaven there.
soon to be.
=)
then tay joined us.
walked over to cine for dinner.
cute waiter whom kept talking to me when i commented about somethings.
(yh and hl actually believed that i know him. =p)
muhahaha.
had this REAL SPICY vongole.
omg.
so sad.
gave tay her present.
sang bday song.
hehe.

walked over to heeren's nydc for more food.
hehe.
ate Jamaica Banana Cake.
yum yum.
my fav.
i love secret recipe's though.
(hint: my bday cake!)
talked quite alot.
kind of grilled tay for info.
MUHAHAHAHA.
though i got grilled a little too.
;)

for some reasons...
someone made my day today
with a morning sms
=)

randoms

2008-05-28T00:44:00.002+08:00

seriously it is pretty sad to see "friends" whom doesn't understand you at all.
even though i don't need them to understand,
at least understand my job.
you think i want to take leave i can take leave?
have you ever thought of how much responsibility that is on my shoulders?
when i finally spare a day out for you,
and yet you don't even want to compromise.
and still want this and that.
then fuck off.
don't ask me out.

haiz...
i am so bloody tired of these people.

randoms

2008-05-27T22:30:00.002+08:00

life is horrible.
it's worse when you don't have someone to rant to.
it's even worst if you get fucked by people whom are ruled by emotions.
i just can't speak to them sometimes.
non-sense-ti-cal people.
some don't know how lucky they are.

and some idiotic printer is pissing me off.
blah.
it's ok. nvr mind.
sian.

went to heeren to meet some clients.
met victoria too.
after meeting them, was rushing off for classes.
on the way to class, gossip a little with victoria.
interesting lady.
met cj at toa payoh.
first time, both of us were late.
hehe.
rushed through dinner went for class.
quite tired.
zzz.

randoms

2008-05-27T00:23:00.002+08:00

woke up early today again
though slept damn late yst.
continued to do the drawings.
haiz.
i still can't draw the perspective ones.
sian.
i seriously need a technical designer here.
blah.
client canceled today's meeting so never meet them.

met my friend instead.
finally watched accuracy of death.
and we had dinner after that.
on our way home, stayed around at the playground and talked a bit.
hmmm... i am someone living in my own world.
and it is very rare for me to open up to some issues other than cz and jona.
but apparently we somehow clicked bah.
so it was very enjoyable.

another dream fulfilling soon...

2008-05-25T21:13:00.002+08:00

ok. after fulfilling one of my dream,
i think it is time i am going to fulfill another.
it's the calling.
LOL.
you know what?

went dinner with gor gor.
then i told gor gor i saw the Beetle's (blue one just downstairs) owner yst night.
is a young guy.
then i said i wanna get one too.
Lime green (cause the yellow ones are too common now).

this is another reason why my relatives can't say i'm not a yeo.
you know why?
my gor gor says he planning to get a Beetle (Lime green) at the end of the year.
OMG.
I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE HOW WE THINK ALIKE!

i think i should go start learn driving in August.
then soon, i can drive Beetle too!!!
muhahahaha.
Beetle come to mummy!
i will treat you well.

randoms

2008-05-25T15:03:00.003+08:00

gonna be pretty shagged these few days.
back to back events.
LOADS to do.
yst roadshow was a success.
later then post up photos.
everyone was here yst.
thanks victoria, tiffy, christine and eddy for coming down.
it's pretty cool for the full team to meet each other.

i did the sounds yst.
wahahahah.
and i pretty love it.
it's fun you know.

dinner time was exciting.
cause there was this cute boy date who came down have dinner with us.
ok. it is sort of a double date.
thanks to vict.
hmmm... he is pretty cute (and am serious when i say pretty)
LOL.
a scorpio (again...) and 3 years younger than me!!!
-peng-
he is underage
so anyway, he is almost perfect if he doesn't speak.
LOL.
too gee-na lah.
cz, vict and me can't help but didn't bother talking to him.
LOL. poor guy.
he speaks with arrogance lah.
and i didn't talk much to him.
i only had 2 hours of sleep previous night
and even seeing his cute face, doesn't perks me up.
so i was darn quiet throughout dinner.

back to roadshow.
it was FUN with the HCI guys except for one.
and i can't believe jin yao is an aries.
he doesn't look like one.
he looks so kind.
LOL.

going back home was so darn fun.
cabbed with cz and vict.
actually i know vict back in home club.
so it was pretty fun chatting with her.
then i said something (comparing ryan with my scorpio fren)
and she went hysterical laughing for a good whole 20 mins squatting down and hugging my chair.
= =
yeah.
i didn't know it was funny.
LOL.
thank goodness it was 1am+
otherwise people would have thought she is hyperventilating.

have finished reading the manga 7th period is a secret.
not bad but short.
now reading absolute boyfriend.
i think the drama is out already.
but waiting for it to complete first.

should we pick up from we have left?

2008-05-23T17:43:00.002+08:00

It has already been 5 months
what is the point of apologizing now?
what is the of wanting to know the truth now?
you weren't there when i needed you.
saying sorry now is pointless.
because with or without it doesn't matter anymore

yes. i was lying through my teeth.
yes. you were right. you have guessed it right.
so? it doesn't matter anyway.
you weren't bothered by it then.
why bother about it now?
then is already past.
not now.

you said you have learnt alot from me.
how to cherish someone and not being able to prove yourself...
thank you
i have learnt alot from you too.
how to cry, how to feel hurt, how to be hurt.

thank you for all the lessons.
if not for you, i wouldn't have known...
what it is like to be not able to trust again.

randoms

2008-05-22T16:58:00.002+08:00

phew.

yst was a long day.

went to tiong bahru plaza met jin yao and the management

settled the things for sat.

after jin yao left, how can i not go to that place!!!

grillers.

plenty of memories there.

too bad this time it's only me there.

i miss da jie, mu mu and darling.

hahah.

after my very early dinner, went to raffles place.

met jian ying and fren.

wa... it's another walk down memory lane for us.

LOL.

went to somewhere near china square/far east square for dinner.

yesh. i ate again.

I AM A PIG.

lol.

then after dinner walked back.

walked over to fullerton.

and guess what we saw?

the merlion!

muhahaha.

once again, serene thought of a crazy idea.

LOL.

not telling, but i did it.

and it's great.

then we sat and chatted loads.

about what romantic things we can do.

LOL.

and exchange tips with each other.

hehe.

after that is home sweet home.

took the train, talked even more.

muhahahah.

it's all cool.

i like her company.

randoms

2008-05-20T23:44:00.006+08:00

hmmm...
this whole week is full of excitement?
LOL.
nahz. i don't know.
an expression or feeling that i can't describe.
isn't sorrow.
not emptiness.
not exactly fully happiness.
but something good.

woke up early started working.
settled my sat roadshow things.
gossip a bit with nat.
phew. next month will be BUSY.
met cj at toa payoh again.
muhahaha. i did well in class today.
=p
yeah. hard work pays off.
I MUST CONTINUE TO JIA YOU.
can't really remember what cj said
but i know he said something very funny.

recently i met/know alot of scorpios.
hmmm...
5? 3 from the past. 2 current ones.
gosh.
i've always thought scorpios are sexy (because they are mysterious)
smart (which can be cunning as well)
sweet (they can do the sweetest things)
serene (they are usually quiet because they don't like to talk much)
yeah.
LOL.

the sexy scorpio "eddy" is back.
i'll get to hear him call me "girl" again.
ok. don't be mistaken.
he is one of my best assistant in dotbox.
LOL.
he is back to work ad-hoc with us.
quickly finish his studies please.

and the other scorpio i know is the mysterious guy whom seemed to have split personality to me.
ok. not really split.
but got to know the other side of him.
the side i never imagined of.
hehe.
and i realised we share the same passion
gambatte!

and the last scorpio is someone victoria wanna intro me to.
some small boy (ok, he's 18.. to me is small)
whom she hopes that i can help her (get rid of)
LOL.
la la la la.
me qi dai to see how he is like.
muhahaha.

thoughts

2008-05-18T23:26:00.002+08:00

hmmm...

had a convo with dad just now during dinner.

reminds me of what i was chatting with my fren yst night.

abit about future and life.

frankly speaking, since the first meeting with him

i never had a good impression of him

probably because he is too much of a smooth talker bahz.

girls are usually attracted to smooth talker right?

and he isn't really friendly as well. hmmm...

more of a cool character bah.

and he speaks like as if razors are on his tongue.

ok.. what a way to describe.

LOL.

seriously i never really pay much attention to what he said in previous convos

until yesterday.

actually i had this convo with him briefly when we first met.

but i walked away too soon. (yesh. i am mean.)

LOL.

so yesterday i was just asking him randomly.

one thing lead to another.

and it showed the other side of him.

somehow i come to understand why he has that strong arrogant character of his.

it's like his shell.

somewhat like me.

and all i can say, he has experienced much more than me.

and we both agree that somehow, with these life experiences,

life is more meaningful.

people are blinded by their achievements.

or too overwhelmed by it that they fail to know the true meaning of life.

something i can't tell you, but you have to discover it by yourself.

different people have different purposes bah.

but somehow you will realise how fragile this life is

and sadly, you only have one chance.

once lost, there isn't any restart button.

Tears

By X-Japan

doko ni yukeba ii ["Wherever we go is okay,"]

anata to hanarete [You said]

ima wa sugisatta [Now what may have been]

toki ni toikakete [Has been stopped by time]

nagasugita yoru ni [On that night that was too long]

tabidachi wo yume mita [I had a dream where you left me]

ikoku no sora mitsumete [Staring at a foreign sky]

kodoku wo dakishimeta [I hugged my lonliness]

nagareru namida wo [My fallen tears]

toki no kaze ni kasanete [Are piling up on the winds of time]

owaranai anata no [At the end]

toiki wo kanjite [I feel your breath]

DRY YOUR TEARS WITH LOVE

LONELINESS YOUR SILENT WHISPER

FILLS A RIVER OF TEARS

THROUGH THE NIGHT

MEMORY YOU NEVER LET ME CRYAND YOU, YOU NEVER SAID GOOD-BYE

SOMETIMES OUR TEARS BLINDED THE LOVE

WE LOST OUR DREAMS ALONG THE WAY

BUT I NEVER THOUGHT YOU'D TRADE YOUR SOUL TO THE FATES

NEVER THOUGHT YOU'D LEAVE ME ALONE

TIME THROUGH THE RAIN HAS SET ME FREE

SANDS OF TIME WILL KEEP YOUR MEMORY

LOVE EVERLASTING FADES AWAY

ALIVE WITHIN YOUR BEATLESS HEART

DRY YOUR TEARS WITH LOVE

nagareru namida o

toki no kaze ni kasanete

owaranai kanashimi wo [This feeling at the end]

aoi bara ni kaete [Makes my blue rose change]

DRY YOUR TEARS WITH LOVE

nagareru namida wo toki no kaze ni kasanete

owaranai anata wo toiki wo kanjite

DRY YOUR TEARS WITH LOVE

very nice song by X-Japan.

i think i should really convert my citizenship to Japanese (kidding)

NIHON rox!

2 more days.

randoms

2008-05-17T16:43:00.003+08:00

ahhh...

i'm watching We Are Married now.

it's a korean variety show and i think it is so cool lah.

and i simply like andy and alex.

man. they are the best bf ever.

and the guys in the show really know how to spoil girls with sweets.

LOL.

they are ~sweet~

yst night met ben for movie at vivocity.

on our way there on the bus, met this guy with fits.

gosh, and that guy was like sitting beside us.

we were like OMG. what to do what to do?

so anyway, we got the people sitting the back seat to clear out the space.

then he and another 2 guys carried that guy to the back seat and try calm him down.

we also opened the windows behind.

not bad. he recovered quite fast.

so it's good.

wanted to catch accuracy of death.

BUT!!!

only left front rows.

blah.

so we caught speed racer instead.

which was cool!

i like the soundtrack.

and rain is cool too.

and jona sms me when i was in the movie.

so since he was bored waiting for her,

we chatted a bit.

i am good in multi-tasking ok (but don't do that in front of ur bf. haha).

LOL.

after the movie, caught the NR back.

AND GUESS WHAT?

muhahahaha. strike toto also not so lucky.

we met jona and her on the bus!

la la la la la.

we three were like "OMG! I SEE YOU HERE" (ben, jona and i are sec sch mates)

and she was like.. wa..

LOL.

oh. i got a huge candy bar from ben.

LOL.

yum yum.

french nogurt.

i think my teeth can drop soon.

went home bathed, watched a bit of tv.

jona called.

chatted until 5 then went to orh orh.

gosh.

tired man.

i don't understand

2008-05-16T17:01:00.003+08:00

i don't understand why do you want to meddle into my things?

i don't understand what right do you have to comment about me?

i don't understand how to respect you?

i don't understand why you don't understand me at all.

you haven't tried to know me before

so why should you force yourself to know me now?

what you assume is not what i want.

why do you always have to condemn what i have, what i want.

and you don't look at yourself even.

what i'm asking for is not even 1/10 of what she can give me!

for the past 20 years, what have you done for this family?

or at least for me and my bro?

if you don't want to give me anything, i understand.

but you haven't done anything for my brother why should you demand from him?

or us?

responsibility?

i think you need that word more than us.

filial piety...

if this word doesn't exist

i guess i am out of this house very long ago.

it doesn't matter to me anyway.

i was born alone, i can walk this road alone, i can do everything alone.

i'm sorry, i don't think you understand.

that i can be very cold.

whom we are now is what you did.

now i understand why there is no more warmth here anymore.

because she has brought warmth with her.

a home is nothing more than just only a house.

i don't know what's home anymore.

我着一生中

最害怕失去的

就是她。

因为我无法想象没有她的日子

过了两年了

我还是最害怕的就是没有她的日子。
你们一定会说两年了

放手吧。

但不是每一个人会了解我的心情

她对我来言，不只是一个妈妈

她是我的一切。

没有她的坚持

就都会有我

也不会有现在的我。

hmmm...

2008-05-16T01:51:00.003+08:00

today went over to parkway parade to help mr moh
had been so long since the last i worked in perfect potion.
hmmm...
quite ok lah.
was quite bored.
caught up with dawn a little.
ever since 2006, haven't met up with her.
suddenly felt that i am quite lucky.
hahaha. in my own way.
=)

saw quite alot of things.
hmmm...
don't know how am i feeling today.
not lost. i am focused.
but weird.
not emptiness. not lonely.
but just felt something is not there yet.
hmmm...

randoms

2008-05-13T23:29:00.002+08:00

finally revived my wretch today.
haven't been submitting articles.
sad. my previous articles got deleted.
haiz.
and my backup copy got reformatted.
thanks to cz.
haiz.
i really love some of my previous writings.
hahaha.
too bad i don't have super memory.

did work at home.
went to toa payoh.
met cj at 6.30pm.
went for dinner.
bring cj along was really a good choice.
he knows toa payoh well.
and being the blur me, hehe.

class was fun.
and many many people.
plus cj, 4 guys only.
and that aunty bluffed us.
where got couples!!!
no couples at all.
other than cj, there is only one more guy can look.
LOL.
blah.
but we had fun.
on our way home, cj and i were still practising.
and we even came out with some stoopid lame phrases.
you all shouldn't know.
haha.

anyway, angie really thought bie is my bf.
LOL.
i forgot she has a thing for thai guys back in sec sch.
ok lah.
he's cute mah.

someone from the past came back.
someone very very long ago.
hmmm...
lyra...
i am very surprised he still remembers this name
a name i haven't used for years.
do you know i was a geek in sec sch?
buck tooth, specs with fringe and ponytail, long skirt.
LOL.
well yeah.

randoms

2008-05-13T00:03:00.002+08:00

ok... probably this is one of the most awaited post.
because today, me going to intro you my bf.
yes. finally.
my bf.
LOL.
-drums roll-

how how?
handsome?
=)
ya ya, look like thomas ong.
i swear he is not thomas ong ok?
i won't want to trick you guys.
LOL.
he is a cutie. =)

morning met cz.
met a client at middle road.
nice spa place.
then went off to do some sourcing for logistics.
blah. me now leg cramp.
LOL.
went to many places.
finally went back to RP.
just got down from cab guess whom i saw?
gosh!!! leon and ivan (NP).
ivan leh! omg. -peng-
i thought he is suppose to be in china.
LOL.
ok. came back le.
ok. that's not the point.

cz went off for meeting.
me stayed in library to do some work.
thought i could surprise someone.
but alias. he thought i was at home!
so anyway, he came down when he finished work.
and poor him have to pei me work till around 8.30pm
dinner time still got suan by someone.
haiz.
xing ku le.
but we had fun! =)
ignore his words... (ok. not all. bad de don't listen. LOL)

btw, my bf's name is bie.
you can go google a bit too.
i met him on channel 53.
=)
he's such a cutie right?
he's mine!
hint: he is a thai.
LOL.

you know...
don't get yourself forced to anything
take your time, go at your own pace
just don't take forever =p
LOL
i don't want to really get married when i'm 40! (kidding.)

happy mothers day

2008-05-11T16:24:00.004+08:00

on friday night when i was in orchard

there was this whole stretch of jewellery store along centrepoint.

i think i was quite mean to the people there.

i was a bit unhappy when i can't catch accuracy of death on that day.

and stupid cz was nagging at me.

and the people kept asking me to buy mothers' day gift.

so in the end, i was quite pissed and i actually said this to one of them:

"no need buy. wait i got mother then buy"

LOL.

and he looked at me with shock.

ok. probably firstly, i don't think he has met people whom is frank like me.

plus a bit mean? hehe

so anyway, every year on mothers day

when i was younger, i would do up a mini concert in my mum's room

of course i will get gor gor to participate too.

and when i was older, we would go out for lunch

and for the last mothers day, we did ai xin dinner at home

with entertainment.

nevertheless, every year, ever since spice girl sang it,

i sang it too.

too bad, i don't get to sing it to anyone now.

but if you have the chance, sing the song to her...

though i can't sing it, probably my mummy can read my blog?

Mama

By Spice Girls

She used to be my only enemy and never let me be free

Catching me in places that I knew I should'nt be

Every other day I crossed the line I didn't mean to be so bad

I never thought you would become the friend I never had

Back then I didn't know why

Why you were misunderstood

So now I see through your eyes

All that you did was love

Mama I love you.Mama I care

Mama I love you . Mama my friend.

You're my friend I didn't want to hear it then but I'm not ashamed to say it now

Every little thing you said and did was right for me

I had a lot of to think about,about the way I usedto be

Never had a sense of my responsibility

Back then I didn't know why

Why you were misunderstood

So now I see through your eyes, all that you did was love

Mama, I love you. Mama, I care

Mama, I love you. Mama ,my friend.

You're my friend

But now I'm sure I know why,

Why you were misunderstood

So now I see through your eyes

All I can give you is love is love

Mama I love you. Mama, I care

Mama, I love you. Mama, my friend,

You're my friend

Mama, I love you, Mama ,I care

Mama, I love you, Mama, my friend,

You're my friend

randoms

2008-05-10T21:23:00.002+08:00

blah. boring day.

yesterday met jin yao (HCI) at the library.

was quite fun.

i prefer talking to him than his other two friends.

noob people whom still call others noob.

sian.

they should go dig a bit of my background before comment about me.

don't talk much doesn't mean don't know anything.

after library, went over to smu to visit ms tan siok san (formerly from CIE)

had an insightful talk with her.

more motivation.

LOL.

walked over to PS.

rotted a bit.

i wanted to watch accuracy of death.

GV atPS was showing it around 11pm.

no point.

so we rotted a bit, walked over to cathay cine.

there worst! coming soon 15 may!

zzz.

so in the end pursuaded cz go play pool.

reached lucky plaza, realised can't play pool without IC or driving license.

haiz. so can't play.

in the end, we played at the arcade.

finally tried out those shooting game.

LOL.

and 3 rounds of daytona (2 beginner, 1 advance)

very unfortunately, cz lost all 3 rounds to me.

hehe.

not that i am boasting or what, so far i only lost to jk and ming yang.

after arcade, i was finally happy.

then sat in front of OG slacked a bit.

discussion of the day:

bread or love?

cz chose love

i chose bread.

LOL.

i am someone practical.

i won't want my kids to suffer with me.

of course the best i can find both in one peoson.

LOL.

slacked until 10.30pm, walked back.

met sylvester and i-forgot-his-name.

slept all the way home.

yawns.

randoms

2008-05-09T11:23:00.002+08:00

sian.

ever since my lappy isn't working

have felt as lost as ever.

i am still trying to google out the link.

haiz.

sad. =(

recently have been meeting buddy quite often.

wednesday met eric (not rp de) for dinner

then walked past his shop.

went to said hi.

yesterday had cramps so stayed home

went to meet ken, daniel and uday at marina mandarin in the night.

dan interviewed me for the book, uday is the author.

hmmm... it's a pretty weird atmosphere there.

not as cosy hence, alot of details also lost touched.

i felt that the interview was so so only.

things i wanted to say never really come out.

well, we shall see uday's writing first bah.

after the interview, dan met some friends at the lounge.

they came over to joined us,

forgot their names.

but i know there's a cute one.

hmmm.. and playful.

stayed quite a bit until around 10pm.

called buddy.

thank goodness he was still around so went to meet him.

can go home together.

took the bus.

actually have been talking to him for the past 3 days.

nothing much, about work and work.

seemed like he wanted to say something yet don't know where to start from.

finally yesterday he let out.

LOL.

and and and it is jing tian dong di news ok.

he saw tay on wed night, after i left.

cool. should have stayed longer!

then i can catch her. =p

but anyway, it wasn't surprising for me lah.

then then

he also asked me about some things.

LOL. which i initially denied.

then he told me 2 shocking news.

ok... 2nd one not really shocking cause i don't really know her well.

but the 1st one was WOAH!

OMG! I DON"T BELIEVE IT.

so yeah.

and we went for dinner at 925.

met a few RP ppl.

randall's fren group. and stephen's (biomed) group.

LOL.

quickly ate and changed place to talk.

too many people we know can't speak discreetly.

LOL.

so stayed on to chat until 1am then went back home to sleep.

sians.

and i can't sleep!

so anyway jeeyon just msned me some updates:

http://u.mediacorptv.sg/promotions.aspx?kw=promotions

(damn. mine blogger not working well.)

and i was asking him what does sheng lin tie means.

and we realised my chinese is ever lan.

LOL.

it means forest invitation and i interpreted it as forest stick.

= =

their 1st performance is on 1st June at IMM.

go support peeps.

randoms

2008-05-08T16:37:00.002+08:00

心愿便利贴

By吴忠明 & 元若蓝

一天一天贴近你的心你开心我关心

一点一滴我都能感应你是我最美的相信

等不到双子座流星雨撒满天际

新点燃九支仙女棒代替

最灿烂不一定要许多钻石黄金

看你眼睛有幸福的倒影

把你的讨厌转几遍送到天边

平凡的傻事用了心变成经典

最浪漫的心愿便利贴贴成无限就是我们最富有的宣言

把你的喜欢每一天复习两遍

惊喜的语言我的天通通灵验

你和我的心愿便利贴贴心里面收集感动给以后怀念

等不到双子座流星雨撒满天际

新点燃九支仙女棒代替

最灿烂不一定要许多钻石黄金

看你眼睛有幸福的倒影

把你的讨厌转几遍送到天边

平凡的傻事用了心变成经典

最浪漫的心愿便利贴贴成无限就是我们最富有的宣言

把你的喜欢每一天复习两遍

惊喜的语言我的天通通灵验

你和我的心愿便利贴贴心里面收集感动给以后怀念

嗒嗒啦嗒嗒啦嗒嗒啦

把你的讨厌转几遍送到天边

平凡的傻事用了心变成经典

最浪漫的心愿便利贴贴成无限

就是我们最富有的宣言把你的喜欢每一天复习两遍惊喜的语言都为你提早灵验你和我的心愿便利贴贴心里面

收集感动

给以后怀念

一天一天贴近你的心

一点一滴我都能感应

你是最美的相信

hmmm... nice song.

randoms

2008-05-07T18:10:00.002+08:00

boring week. zzz.

monday:

went to meet the np kids.

it's nice mentoring them.

got to edit their proposal.

gave them 2 of my proposals from startup.

it's a good template.

went to kaki bukit with qian qian and royce.

qian qian is in pharmaceutical.

so it's cool. got to talk a bit.

royce in engineering. some solar panels thingy.

chim. no wonder he prefer being a pilot.

had them to pei us to do presentation.

good thing. not so bored.

not a good day in moh's office.

don't wanna say so much.

but just some people wanna fuck our ass.

ROAR.

heck.

went over to ruby warehouse.

2 buildings away from moh's office.

our new office.

moving in around mid-may, june.

weeee.

but so far away from my school.

sobs.

-peng-

purposely chose toa payoh cause near kallang de.

haiz.

but stil have straight bus to school and from home.

so it's good.

it's near bedok.

854 stops in front.

tuesday:

rotted a bit.

interviewed a guy.

stress. AJC de.

hmm...

went to office take thumbdrive

then went for dinner at novana's square two.

it's a dead town.

white elephant.

nothing much going on.

but bought two pairs of shoes!

hehe.

and i'm broke.

any sugar daddies?

hehe.

wednesday:

stayed home.

watched dvd with gor gor.

the black book.

nice dutch movie.

erm, it's rated R21 though.

LOL.

(don't think i'm some pervert ok?)

it's a war movie.

so don't think too much.

hehe.

but gor gor can rent it so why not watch it?

ok.

going out to meet friends le.

ciao.

randoms

2008-05-05T23:12:00.002+08:00

hmmm...

sometimes i find it funny.

why some people takes passing comment too personally?

ok but probably word of advise.

the thing is simple.

take it or leave it.

you don't have to harp on it or think of ways to revenge.

or take it as a personal attack or anything.

probably there isn't a need to have such a big reaction?

hmmm...

i don't understand bah.

but it makes no sense to me?

never mind.

and continuation from this morning's "just friends" post

...

and i realised sometimes,

the whole idea of being just friends only

can be quite cruel at times.

haha.

true.

and sad.

but still, jia you mu mu!

and i am secretly happy that i am still remembered.

=) =) =) =) =)

randoms

2008-05-05T09:52:00.001+08:00

i was watching this drama call 9 ends 2 out

the plot reminds me of a book i read before:

"Just Friends" by robyn sisman (she's a good author)

in both plots, it talks about 2 people

a man and a woman

can they be just friends only?

they have known each other like almost forever.

they know each other more than they know themselves

and when they reach their 30s and still remained single

they realised their only shelter and dependence is each other.

and they fell in love.

so can are a man and a woman just friends only?

hmmm... i think they can be.

probably at a point of time, one will be attracted to another.

but gradually they will realised it is better being just friends.

i do have someone i know whom seems to know me forever too.

though we don't talk often but somehow he will always appear at the right time

though we may have misunderstandings here and there

but he still remains as my most dearest friend.

thanks buddy.

randoms

2008-05-03T19:40:00.003+08:00

gosh.

seriously i don't understand why some people are so...

BUAY ZI DONG!

my phone kept BOMBING today.

with calls and smses.

FROM PEOPLE I DON"T WANT TO PICK UP.

irritating MLM people and kids.

wtf.

just scram can.

what makes you think you can bark me to do the things you all want.

that, you just don't know me well.

BLAH!

wednesday:

met soh and moh for lunch.

haiz. got presentation on monday.

WISH ME LUCK.

-i think i can just go die soon-

met alan for dinner.

yum yum.

didn't know tcc serves main course.

SUPER NICE.

loves the garden salad, soup and spaggheti.

yum yum.

i can just imagine it now.

went for ice cream and drinks after that.

thursday:

major rotting at home.

friday:

met cz, met tiffy.

then met a guy.

after meeting, met cheng yin, zhi kai and eugene for dinner.

this time eat steamboat.

AGAIN.

yeah.

me and tiffy "own" the whole tom yum portion.

wa. the tom yum soup is better than tian tian.

but too bad, tian tian has better ingredients.

ate super long.

from 7pm - 10pm.

the group was rather quiet lah.

except from the usual me and tiffy crazying away.

but soon after the guys were amuse by my numerous "cartoon-like" expressions.

that's what they said.

unfortunately, i can't see my own expressions.

LOL.

after that, parted with them.

actually we wanted to join albert at Lunar.

on second thoughts, we went to K-ster instead.

i think they should give us VIP soon.

we are going there quite often.

OH MAN.

shiok.

singed our lungs out.

bought alcohol. get to keep there for 2 months.

after the singing session stopped at 3am.

we continued to stay.

we were trying desperately to finish the mixers (not the alcohol!)

so we played cai quan.

muhahhaha.

cz kana the most.

but me DRANK the most.

damn. i hate green tea now.

blah.

I WAS SO SO BLOATED.

yawns. reached home around 4.30am

zzz.

weather freaking humid these days.

I NEED PORTABLE AIR CON!

LOL.

and the new SMRT bus simply sucks.

i can't believe i can perspire sititng bus.

randoms

2008-05-02T09:47:00.002+08:00

haiz.

i can't believe it.

i am not out on mayday

neither am i working.

i was at home slacking.

and slept loads.

IT WAS SO BORING!

kill myself.

let go when you should

2008-04-30T00:14:00.003+08:00

loads of happenings today.
met mr soh for lunch.
mr moh couldn't make it. sad.
then went over to his office after lunch.
met nat and andrew. (the ones i met in the roadshow)
talked, rot, kpo awhile.
went back to office.
quite happening.

"fate can get intertwine and entangled, and then just break off from each other to form completely new destinies." - quoted from shawn.

i do agree on this part.
it was a pleasant surprise.
but am happy for her.
because i think he is a good choice.
-winks-

went to tian tian huo guo for dinner.
me take the tom yum one, cz took the pai gu.
one more craving satisfied.
yum yum.
because on the way to meet soh, cz saw his ex gf.
and she msged him when we were eating.
so he began to ask me some questions.
particularly about jk.
and that incident.
hmmm...
all i can say is:

我曾經嘗試過
用一百零一percent的心
去愛一個人
一直在他身后旁看着
我現在卻想不起
為什么我愛他

一個在你面前說我愛你
卻在你后面是一個殘酷的人
儅該放手的時候
我就因該放手了
因爲儅你受上時
他是不會回頭

那一晚，哭了，也累了，
心也痲了

我還找不到理由再相信愛情。

that's my answer bah.
i don't see it as hiding from facts.
but i am tired talking or hearing about it.
so... yup.
pardon my chinese though.
still not familiar with compaq
couldn't find simplified chinese.

thoughts...

2008-04-29T02:06:00.002+08:00

爱我
By 唐禹哲

不明不白的一个闷热下午
忽然梦见你的脸过分清楚
褪色的墙袭击了我的床铺
我的呼吸想念着你的特殊

狂风暴雨之中
我是勇敢的树
等待你会疲倦
停在我的保护
失去多久才够
接受爱的残酷
为何你要放弃了这全部

亲爱的我只求拥抱你一秒
让心跳解释没有了你不能跳
再一次因为你把自己燃烧
哪怕这世界毁灭
我也只要你
爱我

音乐不停在房间掩饰孤独
也停不了你声音那些起伏
放下一切我还是会不幸福
因为未来没有你不叫幸福
分开我打坏我看看我的好

任凭你感觉我对你的戒不掉
再一次把心动用你来套牢
交换一辈子等你我都嫌太少

亲爱的我只求拥抱你一秒
交换一辈子等你都嫌太少

ok. me thinking a little bit after watching tv.
also too much dramas doesn't help.
and writing diary sucks more
cause i have the tendency to flip back the pages.
LOL.
not a good thing recalling past?
perhaps?
have thought quite a bit.
and i feel......

if one is ever in love,
the love should be as spontaneous as the song above?
what is a love without even a tiny bit of excitement?

like what i always say...
it's chemistry.

randoms

2008-04-28T21:38:00.002+08:00

today very good.
finished work early.
sadly it's eric's last day.
:x
i will miss my lunch buddy.
no more motivation to go office early le.

anyway i mentioned about my friend's SUPERBAND in the previous post?
ok.
but because i actually went to have laksa, wasn't back in time to see the entertainment news club.
so as the ever resourceful serene, went to google about it.
te-deng!
i found it!

left to right: desmond, gary, jeeyon, andy.

so the ones i know is desmond and jeeyon.
so if you are fan of superband, do help support.
=)

watched my 1st episode of wei wo du zun.
back home in time for it.
erm. the guys ok ok lah.
but i spot a my type prince charming!
icaru yuan.
nevermind that he is from china.
wind is also from china.
WAHAHAHAHA.
like his boyish yet charming looks.

the also resourceful him google out more blood type comics.
simply funny.
especially type B.

Type B

2008-04-28T14:47:00.003+08:00

ok. these are the ones i wanted to post up.
not only on type Bs but all the blood types.
But the Bs one is the most accurate and funniest.

had a nice pleasant surprise yesterday.
one stone kill two cravings.
laksa and him
(i realized it's pretty weird to always call him mushroom.
even david asked me about it. :x)
=)

Frustrations

2008-04-27T17:11:00.002+08:00

PLEASE REMIND ME TO GO AND BLOODY GET A COMPAQ CHARGER FROM SIM LIM.

!@#$%^&*

blah.

life without a laptop sucks.

life with a laptop without charger sucks even more.

and i have a mean brother at home.

HAR!

so bloody bored at home.

and can't go out.

sad.

and NO ONE sms me. (ok. no someone)

blah blah blah.

monday monday monday

work work work.

13 may 13 may 13 may.

quick quick come.

ROAR.

my bf is type B.

was watching that yesterday.

actually have some pictures to blog about.

but that darn server don't let me upload.

so too bad.

another time bah.

anyway, yeah.

type B guys are the ones i hate most.

sorry.. not because i got influence by the show.

but i have a fair share of B guys too.

gross.

they are the most arrogant, self-centered freaks i ever known.

(cz, you don't so sensitive. i not saying you. you aren't B right?)

LOL.

blah.

why i say that?

cause i'm staying with 2.

ROAR.

no way am i going to find B group bf.

also, congrats to jeeyon

his band got into SUPERBAND top 16!

woootz.

he better win.

then i can be "ming xing's" friend!

LOL.

kidding.

jia you!

randoms

2008-04-26T21:10:00.002+08:00

苦茶

By :棒棒堂黑涩会美眉

微微笑的看你越是认真就越让人心疼

街头那盏路灯仿佛在笑我愚笨

没什么能做但我比谁都真诚

泡一杯苦茶陪伴你到夜深

你知不知道你总有一种很可爱的独特

让我充满勇气抵抗冬天的寒冷

怎样做才会完美像个男人

喝一杯苦茶温暖你的体温

不用等你开口先说我爱你

在那之前想对你说我愿意

你不必问你也不必等

这一刻就值得爱到永恒

我该如何让你明白我爱你

在那之后你点头说我愿意

想照顾你想守护着你

这一刻只想把你抱紧

你知不知道你也有一种很可爱的天真

大男孩的口吻魅力加到一百分

怎样做才会完美像个男人

喝一杯苦茶温暖你的体温

虽然永远太不可能

少了你的完整

两个对的人奇迹就能发生

这一刻只想把你

抱紧

so boring.

i will be busy busy soon.

haiz.

randoms

2008-04-25T12:07:00.002+08:00

迷宫

By 于浩威

爱来爱走

傻傻地爱你还是选择了自由

谁错我现在不想说

反正没有结果

向左向右

你善变的心永远永远猜不透

你用爱我的理由

现在又离开我

我不敢放开手

绕啊绕的还是找不到出口

被下咒语的迷宫

我站在天堂的入口

你突然就放手

我听说这条路难走

不能回头

我跟着留下的线索

小心不再犯错

被困在无解的角落

到底还要多久

i accidentally found out about this singer yesterday

he is almost past tense

but i realised that he has nice vocals.

too bad, not much good songs he has

except this is not bad.

he also has a NANA song quite cool too.

was watching million of stars yesterday.

not bad.

i like the PK challenge.

anyway i think he did better than that stupid guy yst.

i feel the show quite lame.

is very obvious that the show is purposely sacrificing simba

because he was against a well known host in taiwan.

i find that there were other singers better lorz.

like joanna and pan dunnoe what de.

howl yu too!

blah.

not fair.

ok. enough ranting.

yesterday irwin came down.

weee. ever since nike launch, haven't seen him.

came to help me in some projects.

muhahahahaha.

i miss tiffany so much.

hope her semester quickly ends.

jia you jia you.

after work, went for dinner with eric and cz.

wa. HAPPENING.

caused my friend's sister's bf got charged in court

then kept calling to ask for help.

and i didn't know using a key to assualt people is also known as rioting.

blah.

he suay lah.

what nice friends he has.

went to bao tou him when he didn't do anything.

17 years old only, will get prison sentence a not?

anyhow, brought eric to the nice nice vegetarian restaurant.

and he is so smart.

LOL.

my favourite place!

yum yum.

and we had fried mushroom (who ask you never join us.)

damn nice. =p

and we were tempted to go and watch a RA movie.

but we realised all in foreign language.

DOTS.

and the uncles there look... pervert.

so NEXT.

i want to eat:

Katong Laksa.

Roti Prata with fish curry.

Vegetable curry.

ROAR!

hmmm...

2008-04-23T17:55:00.003+08:00

say hello to compaq lappy.
=)

Love me for a reason
By Boyzone

Girl when you hold me
How you control me
You bend and you fold me
Any way you please

It must be easy for you
To love the things that you do
But just a pastime for you
I could never be

And I never know girl
If I should stay or go
Cos the games that you play
Are driving me away...

Don't love me for fun girl
Let me be the one girl
Love Me For a Reason
Let the reason be love
Don't love me for fun, girl
Let me be the one, girl
Love Me For a Reason
Let the reason be love

Kisses and caresses
Are only minor tests, babe
Of love turned to stresses
Between a woman and a man
So if love everlasting
Isn't what you're asking
I'll have to pass, girl
I'm proud to take a stand

I can't continue guessing
Because it's only messing
With my pride, and my mind
So write down this time to time

Don't love me for fun, girl
Let me be the one, girl
Love Me For a Reason
Let the reason be love
Don't love me for fun, girl
Let me be the one, girl
Love Me For a Reason
Let the reason be love

I'm just a little olf-fashioned
It takes more than a physical attraction
My initial reaction is
Honey give me a love
Not a fascimile of

Don't love me for fun, girl
Let me be the one, girl
Love Me For a Reason
Let the reason be love
Don't love me for fun, girl
Let me be the one, girl
Love Me For a Reason
Let the reason be love

am i too sensitive?
probably i do have my rights of doubts?
what happens if your past caught up with you?
not that i am afraid of anything.
what if you happened to hear something you shouldn't have?
frankly, i have never thought much about it earlier.
till i realized how much she can influence him.
or am i thinking too much?
i don't need misjudgment of my character to be told or discussed with him.
yes. our friendship may seemed "very close"
but no, i don't know you well.
neither do you know me well.
i felt betrayed.
can i trust him again?
or even, everything he does, does he have a motive?

probably i should just ask him about it.

mondays

2008-04-22T10:54:00.002+08:00

muhahahahaha.

went down to office.

met the NP team to discuss about their project.

albert just came back from china.

see that cute little thing on his table?

muhahaha. CJ7

from china.

nicer than the ones in s'pore

or probably those that i saw bah.

kinda pissed off with someone.

blah.

seriously i don't know what to say.

blah blah.

haiz.

went to sim lim square to get a new ram for compaq.

and a hard disk casing for my fujistu hard disks.

met doreen.

ate so many things.

had laksa for dinner.

YUM YUM.

delicious.

then walked over to raffles city to do some stupid things.

blah.

you know, if i i'm married and you still see me hanging out with a guy

probably he is the one.

muhahaha

(christine says 男人不坏女人不爱)

went to donut factory got donuts.

bought 6, ate the rest.

was still early from his knock off time.

so sat there slacked a bit, got subway to munch.

-yeah, i ate alot-

it's 9pm!

really very slowly walked over.

2 hearts donut and a heart lollipop.

aren't i romantic?

MUHAHAHAHA.

he said: people give 1 box of donuts leh.

you gave 2 only.

= =

but mine has more hearts!

more "LOVE LOVE 感觉" (quoted from JR)

hehe.

but i did catch him by surprise!

he was like "OMG! YOU CAME! AND WITH DONUTS!!!"

blah.

see. i say it, i will do it.

waiting for him to finish packing.

waiting for bus home.
him munching the donuts.

la la la la la

reached yishun went to makan again!

it's 12 and we are still eating again.

went to S11 oppo mrt makan.

blah.

the prata there not nice.

sian.

home sweet home.

星星只在夜里闪亮着

但有一颗星星是二十四小时

为你闪亮着...

birthday party

2008-04-20T23:39:00.002+08:00

muhahahha

i think you all can say i sua gu or what

this is my first time going to a birthday party.

haha

was watching harry potter this afternoon.

waiting for ben and victor to come collect me.

hehe.

they 2 stay quite near my house.

was raining.

so brought additional umbrella for victor.

took 39 to tampines.

on the bus, saw sze wei.

hmmm... ben spoke to him.

me not really. (i'm dao)

LOL.

reach aloha changi.

quite a few have reached.

but me only know ben and victor.

soon after, wei cong and choon hou came.

FINALLY!

at least i got wei cong.

hehe.

saw clement and his gf.

we stayed in the living room alot.

played cards, watched tv.

made edmund played with us.

so that can forfeit him later.

*evil*

huey jinn came.

then sherman and serene(khoo).

super long no see serene le.

ever since year 1.

i don't have the group photo with everyone.

only have the one in our group.

hehe. too bad.

cause got alot of shuai ge.

LOL.

edmund's outside friends.

left to right (top):

choon hou, victor, zac (or jeff? forgot his name), sherman, wei cong.

left to right (front):

serene, ben, edmund (bday boy), me, huey jinn, joyce, clement.

me and birthday boy in full body condom.

we had a penguin brief for him too.

happy birthday. =)

shopping yesterday:

nice?

but didn't buy.

bought another dress instead.

isetan sales.

wa. life so not fair!

me one week never see tiffany only,

finally met her on friday,

she say she has bf liao!

yeah. with her that cancerian.

blah.

and i one day never see cz only,

HE TOO GOT GF LIAO!

wtf.

why all like that?

blah.

super sian.

saturday!

2008-04-19T22:48:00.002+08:00

woke up rather early for a saturday.

sian.

me now using gor gor's lappy.

hehe.

damn cool. get to his comments for the student's RJ.

LOL.

went to heeren to meet abductboy and sparky and "i dunnoe her name"

weird names?

LOL.

they are from API.

yeah. we planning some ghostly things.

LOL.

do join their tour in june.

after lunch meeting with them, went to shopped a little.

was waiting for benjamin, victor and shiyun.

saw charmaine. saw ai ke.

muhahaha.

and ai ke has a pretty girl beside him. o.O

went to meet benjamin, victor and shiyun at orchard mrt.

took train to bugis.

went to the sex toy shop in bugis.

was planning to get a sex toy for edmund's bday tomorrow.

too bad. age limit: 23 years old.

so in the end, went to meet lucky plaza.

house of condoms.

cool. found what we wanted.

met choon hou and another faci.

dragged them in.

wahahaha. we are terrors.

so bought the things, went to food republic for dinner.

on the way home on train, saw this guy whom looks like DL (heroes)

wahahaha.

i bought a new dress!

looking for a new writing notebook for my lesson.

haiz.

misses!

bad day

2008-04-18T23:08:00.002+08:00

blah.

it was a shitty day.

woke up, met CJ at toa payoh.

dropped laptop at overhead bridge.

bad move.

went to register for the course with CJ.

my online registration didn't go through.

LOL.

CJ's application was accepted 5 times.

muhahahha.

so he is going to pay 5 times. kidding.

quite excited.

advantage of CJ:

- he stays across my street

- got someone to accompany me every tues night

- first day of lesson no need scare don't know anyone

- can get him to take down notes if i never attend

disadvantage of CJ:

- cannot know any shuai ge if there were any.

LOL. ok. not funny.

damn funny.

we were asking that admin lady how many participants have enrolled

she said she has 2 couples already.

then CJ said: we are not couple.

LOL.

that auntie also damn funny.

ask her how many people also not asking couple.

so anyway, my lappy screen crack le.

am blogging on david's lappy.

yeah.

me still in office.

had dinner with david.

he ask how come we young people spend TGIF with him and not in clubs.

LOL.

to somone:

thanks for tagging my blog.

thanks for wanting to wait for me.

thanks for everything you given me.

thanks for the wonderful dream you gave me.

thanks for the lovely fireworks.

it was best day ever.

and it will always remain in my memories.

2006 was really a shitty year for me.

but because of your existence; you have sugar coated it.

you were what i called... miracle.

you were what i known as prince charming.

it doesn't matter how long you are going to wait for me now

or how long i have waited for you.

while your thoughts were swaying

while you were still unsure of yourself and your feelings

while you were at a standstill;

i have moved on.

you had a chance but you lost it

whatever i may have felt for you

it's all different now.

as time goes by;

i have changed.

and after you walked away,

i am now much stronger.

i live by "no regrets"

i did, i am and always will.

i'm sorry.

it's never the same anymore.

thank you for everything.

you will always remain as that prince in my memory.

i'll wish you all the best.

fulfilling my dream

2008-04-18T00:05:00.002+08:00

on my journey back from office,

on the bus.

i thought super loads.

and after seeing what jin zi cong can do

i'm sure i can do it as well.

i am damn determine this time.

i realised i have been sitting around and have not done it yet.

empty promises is no promises.

i think this is the right time.

before i am lazy once again,

i went to sign up for it!

my lesson is starting on 13 May 08.

starting from beginning.

but who cares.

is my dream.

is my promise.

is my want.

STUDY STUDY STUDY!

GAMBATTE!

5 years promise with mr moh...

wait for me.

i say it, i can do it!

wahahahha.

and guess what?

CJ says he want to accompany me for the lessons.

cause he also want to take.

WEEEE!!!

i got company.

yeah.

it won't be boring.

back to secondary school days.

mugging!

wait for me.

i make sure i can get in.

time flies...

2008-04-16T23:54:00.005+08:00

hmmm...

was it a good day or bad day?

cz went for class gathering in the noon.

stayed home to do work; lazy to go office.

gor gor cooked porridge today.

i smelt a bit chao ta so i added marmite in mine.

yeah, i'm mean.

met cz at 6.30pm, meeting some friends for dinner.

went to fish and co at wheelock place.

hmmm.. not bad.

don't really know them, just casual friends.

after dinner, the guys wanted to dota.

and i wanted to do some shopping for ed's birthday on sunday.

going to his bday party.

another bbq thing.

pray hard i don't fall sick again.

blah.

so i left without them.

probably this is my mistake.

was walking on the streets of orchard.

and i met...

prince.

he disappeared so suddenly

and reappeared so suddenly.

right at the same old spot where he first said hi.

he wasn't with anyone; alone.

why did he even recognise me

or rather said hi.

blah.

he got me ice cream

and we sat down and talked.

about the past. about the things i've done.

about the things he done. about army.

pretty much catching up.

i had this sudden urge to ask him:

why he blocked me on msn then?

why he stop replying to my messages?

why he split up with his band?

why he just disappeared suddenly?

hmmm.

but i didn't.

as usual, he sent me to the bus stop.

he held me back before i board it.

he said he was glad to be able to meet me again.

with that;

i thought alot on my journey home.

i have mixed feelings about it.

his sms came right before i stepped into my house.

blah.

i don't want to hope for things i shouldn't hope for.

i don't want to expect things i shouldn't be expecting.

what if he disappeared once again?

probably some things shouldn't even have happened.

Stars

By Simply Red

Anyone who ever held you

Would tell you the way Im feeling

Anyone who ever wanted you

Would try to tell you what I feel inside

The only thing I ever wanted

Was the feeling that you aint faking

The only one you ever thought about

Wait a minute cant you see that i

I wanna fall from the stars

Straight into your arms

I I feel you

I hope you comprehend

For the man who tried to hurt you

Hes explaining the way Im feeling

For all the jealousy I caused you

States the reason why Im trying to hide

As for all the things you taught me

It sends my future into clearer dimensions

Youll never know how much you hurt me

Stay a minute cant you see that i

I wanna fall from the stars

Straight into your arms

I I feel you

I hope you comprehend

Too many hearts are broken

A lovers promise never came with a maybe

So many words are left unspoken

The silent voices are driving me crazy

As for all the pain you caused me

Making up could never be your intention

Youll never know how much you hurt me

Stay cant you see that i

I wanna fall from the stars

Straight into your arms

I I feel you

I hope you comprehend

serene please don't look back.

please don't.

randoms

2008-04-15T01:00:00.002+08:00

sunday:

woke up super early.

sent gor gor to PSC at bukit merah

then went over to guang ming san to meet my small uncle.

this year i'm lucky.

not much of the uncles and aunties came.

only my 2nd and smallest uncle and aunties.

my smallest uncle and auntie are not prone to ask sensitive questions.

me closer to them as compared to the rest.

lucky me.

after guang ming san, went to ji dou am (canto) to pray.

met auntie tong (my mum's neighbour).

she has aged alot.

spoke to her a little before they went for lunch.

after lunch went to choa chu kang cemetery.

was sunburnt there.

i have two red patch on my shoulder (i wore racerback).

blah.

went home bathe; took a nap.

chat a bit with him and he tried to redraw my series of annares with little yellow umbrella.

LOL.

with a stylus, i definately can draw better.

but i appreciate his effort.

after a shitty week meeting those mentioned in previous entry,

it was like icing on a chao ta cake to sweeten the week.

hehe.

monday:

started with an early day again.

went to ngee ann poly in the morning.

met cz and christine.

realised we are a bit too early.

thanks to cz.

so we rotted in their library.

1st day of sch.

quite fun.

LOADS OF HUNKS.

it is eye candy paradiase.

and i spotted a sun wu kong today.

at least that's what i call him.

gave a brief talk in one of their lectures.

not bad.

but i find the class can be a bit more enthu.

my sec sch kids are more enthu than them.

and probably some viewed me as a "flower vase" too.

cause i spoke little in the presentation (just introduced myself)

reason being, not i dao but formal presentations are better done solo than having 2 speakers.

usually it tends to confuse clients a bit.

not that they are my clients or what.

hmmm... but i can be quite tempremental at times.

didn't feel like sharing with them.

(they don't look friendly.)

saw this guy in the class, thought i have seen him somewhere.

he spoke to me first.

about business competitions.

i guess there's where i have seen him.

there's this cute hunk too.

but rather soft spoken, i thought he could talked more.

noticed the potential ones.

there was this sweet talker too, a malay? or an indian?

he deserves his rights to sweet talk, cause he looks good.

picked up a few projects.

overall experience with the students, so-so bahz.

don't have any comments.

went to heeren for a meeting.

roadshow in june.

loads to do in june.

blah.

MONEY MONEY come to mummy!

lol.

loads of things i wanna do.

was reading through my old blog (anna-res)

came across 06 july 07 post.

am still racking my brains pretty hard

under what sort of circumstances was i in to write such a comment.

blah.

LOL.

CHICKEN CURRY!

hmmm...

2008-04-13T02:00:00.002+08:00

不是不想

By 胡彦斌

不敢面对你说起

实在是不得已

这是我藏在心里的秘密

因为你明晚就要离去

想要说却没勇气

只能把它痛苦地回忆

甘心情愿就这样活下去

不是不想对你表白我的心意

不是不想对你说我爱你

也许这本是场没有结局的游戏

让时间来冲淡记忆

不是不想对你表白我的心意

不是不想对你说我爱你

我会永远把痛苦埋藏心底

把它作为我

对你永久的回忆

不是不想

只是不能

面对将要离去的你

又怎能说的出去

只好一个人

默默地守着那份回忆

活下去

i think probably i need the slightest hint of what he thinks.

and not what i think.

cause...

he doesn't get it.

it seems.

thoughts and words

2008-04-12T22:46:00.002+08:00

super loads of thoughts today

may be vulgar.

and insensitive.

can't take the rants? BUZZ OFF!

AM NOT PINPOINTING TO A PARTICULAR SOMEONE. BUT IF YOU THINK YOU FIT INTO THE DESCRIPTION, CONGRATS. YOU ARE THE ONE I'M TALKING ABOUT. AND CONGRATS TOO. YOU ARE NOT A NUT AFTERALL. TRUTH HURTS EH? THAT YOU ARE SMART.

firstly...

if everyone hates people wasting their time,

why can't they be more considerate not to waste other people's time?

was rather pissed off.

if you can't make it for an arrangement

why can't they take initiative to cancel it before the time

and not wait till it's close to the meeting time then you cancel it.

worst till. only until i called then i realised it is cancelled.

blah.

if you don't like people to waste your time, don't waste mine too.

thanks.

secondly...

there is something call compromise.

when you are late, i never say much.

yet when i am late (for only 10 mins), you made a big fuss out of it.

do you think it makes sense?

or do you even think that it is even fair for me?

that i have to tolerate all your shit?

blah.

thirdly...

i can't understand don't arrogant bums.

thinking how good they are just because they have a degree i have none.

and they happened to be more brainless than me.

what's the use of wasting money for the degree

when you can't even practise common sense.

or at least basic business sense?

know whom you are dealing with before you even try to eat that person.

blah.

fourthly...

some self-centered nut can only see

my, myself and i and nothing else.

i don't understand why such person exist?

and don't admit that they are SELFISH.

probably because their body built is too big

that they can only see tummy (me, myself and i) and nothing else.

they expect people to be sensitive to them when they are not even a bit sensitive to others.

and at the end of the day, they will always want to be seen as the victim

and not the culprit.

well... the world does not goes like this.

manipulate all you want.

you will always be at the losing end.

because you will never find true friends.

blah.

fifthly...

some just take things for granted.

they sit there and wait for things to happen.

they are never the ones whom takes initiative to make it happen.

because they always have this confident that they can get something better.

FAT HOPE. DREAM ON.

sitting at home won't get you something better.

dream more...

and you will get it in your dreams.

blah.

ok. end of ranting.

have tolerated these for weeks.

below will be more of my personal self-reflection.

went to Perfect Potion today.

met mr soh and mr moh.

and yvonne.

fruitful one.

i know yvonne before she came to RP.

and we are cancerians.

hence we instantly clicked when we worked in PP.

spent my whole afternoon talking to her and mr moh.

in my life, i have 6 very good mentors.

choon hou, eddie chua, mr soh, mr moh, david and albert.

of all...

i am much closer to mr moh and albert.

i see both of them like a buddy father.

and the striking similarities with them are:

they are both eligible bachelors.

LOL.

not that i fancy old guys.

but they are able to see things differently from a family man.

now i understand fully the things that mr moh does to me.

and i think we share similiar vision.

and after today's talk with him,

i understood fully why am i trading my university education for this.

no matter how garang or strong one can be,

there are still times of uncertainity of your choices sometime.

but he showed me what i want and what i can do.

i have never seen people whom have more confidence in me

than i have for myself.

but mr moh and albert did.

to keep my promise with mr moh,

i will make sure i am definately more than whom i am now.

4 years.

recently got to know this guy, jin zi cong.

hmmm... i find that i am beginning to admire him alot.

his fearless way of doing things.

his determination in some ways.

too bad. he isn't in my world.

blah.

tomorrow going to pray ancestors.

one of the events that i don't wish to attend.

reason being, i get to see my relatives.

nothing exciting about it.

and i can predict the questions they will ask tomorrow:

which university are you going to?

why you not going to university?

cannot make it is it?

let me tell you blah blah cousin did blah blah.

yeah. good for them.

not my thing.

and i don't like to explain myself much.

and i pray hard that gary (cousin that facilitates in RP) did not tell his parents about the newspaper article.

otherwise, i'm dead.

can expect even more questions from them.

and worst.

my gor gor run away again!

blah.

always like that.

hahah.

and my papa was saying today,

study university very clever meh?

every tom dick and harry also can do that.

got money can liao what.

hehe.

my dad rocks sometimes.

just chatted with gene.

he asked me why i like daisies.

hmmm... it represents my mum.

my mum's name is daisy.

but she likes orchids.

i like daisies.

daisies are just like her.

gentle yet strong.